Fwd: Are you an Iowan?

Anne Lambert annelamb at GNV.FDT.NET
Sun Feb 27 00:29:25 UTC 2000

Iowa isn't pronounced with an /o/ but /^/.

RonButters at AOL.COM wrote:

> I think this has enough linguistic interest that folks will want to see it,
> no?
>   ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Subject: Are you an Iowan?
> Date: Mon, 21 Feb 2000 18:12:10 EST
> From: Iowahugs2u at aol.com
> To: CRHUGS at aol.com
> You know you're an Iowan if:
> *You know several people who have hit a deer
> You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Moines" and Illinois"
> You measure distance in minutes (or in Duqubue, you give directions by
> the names of bars!! Go past the Walnut  Tap and turn left, then go until
> you see_______ bar, etc.)
> *Down south to you means south of I-80; in southern Iowa, it means Missouri
> You know where I-80, I-380 and I-280 are
> *Your school classes were cancelled because of cold
> Your school classes were cancelled because of heat
> You know what "Hawks" and "Clones" are
> *You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" inthe same day
> You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
> *Stores don't have bags, they have sacks
> *You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
> *You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it
> no matter what time of the year.
> You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
> Examples:"Where's   my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall, I wanna go with."
> (That is a total DUBUQUE saying!!! hahaha)
> *All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable
> *You can locate Iowa on the United States map
> *Detassling was your first job
> *You know what detassling means
> If you're over 30, you know what "walking beans" means (and never want
>  toever do it again)
> *Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as
>  big as the bun and accompanied only by mustard and pickles
> You know what a Maid-Rite is and know they cannot be served with ketchup
> *You say "catty wampes" instead of "kitty-corner"
> *You learn your pickup will run without a muffler
> *You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
> unlocked
> *You think of the major four food groups as beef, casseroles, beer,
>  and    Jell-O salad with marshmallows
> *You like leftovers; in fact, think they're better the second time
> *When you decline seconds at the dinner table, you're mother  says
> "Oh but it's good"
> *You learned to drive when you were 10
> *You look forward to family reunions
> *When asked how your trip was to any foreign ("furin"), exotic place,
>  you say, "It was different."
> If you're under 25, you remember Terry Branstad as governor the
> whole time you were growing up; if you're
> 25-40, Robert Ray
> >*You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor
> *People from other states love to hear you say "Iowa" and other words
>  with   "Os" in them.
> *You're think people are idiots who say: "You grow great potatoes there."
> You carry jumper cables in your car
> *You drink "pop", do the "warsh", fish in the "crick" and shingle the"ruff"
> You know what "cow tipping" is
> *You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?"

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