I should smile; Well, what do you know?

[Bapopik at AOL.COM]

    A bunch of items from my reading through of the MAIL AND EXPRESS (NY;
later titled EVENING MAIL) from 1885.

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I SHOULD SMILE; WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

     From the MAIL AND EXPRESS, 17 September 1885, pg. 4, col. 5:

     _PROGRESS OF SLANG._
_A Pacific Slope Editor Who Takes Exception to the Latest Curbstone Greeting._
>From the San Francisco Bulletin.
     It used to be, not many months ago, "Jacob, have you dined yet?"  "I
should smile."  Or, "Adolphus, have you read the news?"  "I should smile."
Or, "That was a bad break in stocks yesterday."  "I should smile."  Men of
brains and men of sprightly wit alike fell into the passing habit.  men
without either, with the mental vacancy of a Touchstone, whose brains were as
dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage, assumed a sudden quick
intelligence in the use of the slang response.  If one of these were asked if
he had studied the Darwinian theory as to the descent of man, he would
gravely answer, "I should smile;" and if another were asked if he believed in
the permanency of republican institutions, his serious answer would still be,
"I should smile."  What was the slang expression of intelligence on the part
of some, was a slang expression on the part of others devoid of even common
intelligence.  Yet the questions in both cases might have been the same, and
the replies to them would have been identical.
     The latest expression of slang, succeeding "I should smile," is "Well,
what do you know?"  This, too, has come into a rather general prevalence.
One broker asks another, "Well, what do you know?"  A lawyer asks his client,
"Well, what do you know?"  Meet an acquaintance casually on the street and
the salutation is, "What do you know?"  (Not WHAZZUP??--ed.)  This is a fresh
plum for the many of limited intellectual and conversational faculties.  It
places them on an assured standing again in their intercourse with their
fellow-beings, especially with those possessing somewhat of linguistic
accomplishments.  They can now again stop one of these on the street and
confidently ask, "Well, what do you know?"  They can approach a group in
conversation on the sidewalk, and with the utmost assurance ask, "Well,
gentlemen, what do you know?"  If one of these should be asked in return what
he knows he can complacently answer still, "I should smile," and nonchalantly
walk away.  So, in his own estimation, his importance is triumphantly
sustained. He may vaguely ask himself, "What is the use of slang if it is of
no use?" and may take his own time in pondering over an answer to the
question so momentous to him.

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K-9; TRY IT ON THE DOG; THE JERSEY RACKET

     "BARK K.9." is the title of a "dorg" story in the MAIL AND EXPRESS, 14
September 1885, pg. 3, col. 5.
     In an ADS-L posting of 15 October 1998, I cited "K9" in PUCK of 7 May
1879, and "Trying it on a dog" in the NEW YORK (Dramatic) MIRROR of 22
September 1883.  That MIRROR poem wasn't copied because of its length, but
should definitely be read.
     From the MAIL AND EXPRESS, 17 August 1885, pg. 3, col. 5:

_HOW THEY TRY IT ON THE DOG_
_What a Casual Observer Saw and Heard in a "One-Night Town"--New Plays in
Rural Places--Jealous Actors Who Do Not Know When They are Well Off.
     "Trying it on the dog" is the formula used by theatrical people to
describe the process of testing a new play on the rural population, to
determine whether or not it is wise to breing it forward in New York or in
one of the larger cities.  The origin of the phrase is obvious.  The chances
are that a new play is dangerous and poisonous compound, liable to kill at
twenty feet.  There's about one chance in a hundred that it isn't.  And this
is where the usefulness of "the dog" comes in.  He turns up alive and kicking
with the sound and healthy play.  Of course, ninety and nine dogs have been
sacrificed before this pleasing event occurs, but they have no
largely-circulated newspapers to carry the news of their suffering over the
land, and thus injure the reputation of the author or owner of the play.  If
an audience is poisoned in New York the entire country is informed of the
fact the next morning.  "Trying it on the dog" is a great theatrical
institution.

     From the MAIL AND EXPRESS, 12 September 1885, pg. 6, col. 3:

     _"THE JERSEY RACKET."_
_A New Way that Theatrical Managers Have of "Trying it on the Dog."_
>From the Philadelphia Press.
     A new way to try unacted plays is to perform them at Long Branch or
Asbury Park.  (...)  What is called the Jersey racket has had its first and
only season.

    "The Jersey racket" is usually not recorded, but has stayed in the
language as the shenanigans that the New York City backwater does.

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TRAIL BY NEWSPAPER; D&D

     " ...to avoid that sort of 'trial by newspaper,' of public men, which
has too often disgraced our journalism and deteriorated the popular sense of
the fundamental principles of journalism" is in the MAIL AND EXPRESS, 1
October 1885, pg. 2, col. 2.
     "...'drunks' or 'd & ds,' which in police parlance means drunk and
disorderly" is in the MAIL AND EXPRESS, 8 August 1885, pg. 2, col. 7.

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BRIGHT BELT

     "The tobacco crop of the 'bright belt' of Virginia and North
Carolina..." is in the MAIL AND EXPRESS, 19 September 1885, pg. 4, col. 2.
Is anyone else familiar with this belt (see also Black Belt, Sun Belt, Bible
Belt)?