Canadianisms

[Grant Barrett]

This was posted to the BONG-L email list. I'm reposting it without permission and
as-is because I think it's partly funny and partly right down our alleys. It has the
air of something that gets passed around a lot, but I've never seen it, and I see
everything at least a thousand times.

AND DON'T FORGET OUR NORTHERN SIBLINGS. Terry Murray
<tmurray at rmpublishing.com> of the Medical Post in Toronto offers reasons
to be glad one is a Canadian, to which the Patriotism and Queen's
Birthday Toasts Committee added some of its own.
   1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
   2. You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk."
   3. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette,
I just spilled my poutine."
   4. You know what it means to be on "pogey."
   5. You know that "a mickey" and "2-4's" mean "Party at the cabin,
eh!!"
   6. You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national
anthem.
   7. You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not
electronic devices.
   8. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap
place to travel and has good cigars.
   9. You're not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and
don't want to know if he has!
   10. You have Canadian Tire money.
   11. You know that Mounties don't always look like that.
   12. You're part of the only country to successfully invade the United
States and burn its capital to the ground.
   13. You have a political leader who admits smoking pot.
   14. You read rather than scanned this list and looked for grammatical
and spelling errors.
   (Somewhere around here the committee slipped in a couple.)
   15. When you sell something, you get more dollars for the same price.
   16. When you complain about New York TV stations you have guns to
back you up. Oh, wait a minute. So do New Yorkers. Never mind.
   17. Your imported-cigarette inspectors know how to take life easy.
   18. Annie Murray sells more mail-order albums on late-night TV than
Barry Manilow does.