Canadianisms

[Bob Fitzke]

Grant Barrett wrote:

> This was posted to the BONG-L email list. I'm reposting it without permission and
> as-is because I think it's partly funny and partly right down our alleys. It has the
> air of something that gets passed around a lot, but I've never seen it, and I see
> everything at least a thousand times.

Re Canadianisms

An American is having his breakfast (coffee, croissants, bread, butter &
jam) when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sits down next to him.  The American
ignores the Canadian who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

 Canadian:  "You American folk eat the whole bread?"

 American (in a bad mood):  "Of course."

 Canadian (after blowing a huge bubble):  "We don't.  In Canada, we only
eat  what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them,
transform  them into croissants and sell them to America."  The Canadian has
a smirk on
 his face.  The American listens in silence.  The Canadian persists:  "Do
you eat jelly with the bread??"

 American:  "Of Course."

 Canadian (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling):  "We  don't.
In  Canada we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels,
seeds,  and left overs in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam
and sell  the jam to America."
  The American then asks:  "Do you have sex in Canada?"
  Canadian:  "Why of course we do."
 American:  "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
 Canadian:  "We throw them away, of course."
 American:  "We don't.  In America, we put them in a container, recycle
them,  melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Canada."