Yippie & more from THE REALIST

[Bapopik at AOL.COM]

     THE REALIST was talked about on ADS-L before.  I just went through some
issues.

YIPPIE--August 1967, THE REALIST, article written by Paul Krassner, pg. 21,
col. 2 (OED has 5 April 1968 TIME--ed.):
     Coincidental with the Democrats' Convention there's going to be a Youth
International Party--YIP--and Chicago will be invaded by a mass of _yippies_.
 You've just witnessed the birth of a word.

February 1967, pg. 7, col. 1 cartoon (used car dealer talk)--"This one was
owned by an elderly Negro who drove it under the speed limit for fear of some
cop ticketing him."

February 1967, pg. 11, col. 1 cartoon (Jewish woman on phone)--"Darling, my
schwartza is threatening to quit!"
February 1967, pg. 29, col. 1 cartoon (two gay men are talking)--"Ronald
Reagan was in this big crowd and I copped a feel."

February 1967, pg. 30, col. 1 cartoon (a policeman looks into a car and
questions couple)--"Making love!  Like hell!  You were fucking--I saw you!"

June 1967, pg. 3 headline--Some of My Best Friends Are Arabs.

June 1967, pg. 4, col. 1--...little-old-lady-from-Dubuque.

June 1967, pg. 8, col. 3--..."Flower Power"...

June 1967, pg. 14, col. 3--It was extremely unlikely that Jackie or Lyndon
would bring suit, if only because they would have to concede that what I
publish was believable.  Indeed, one of LBJ's favorite jokes is about a
popular Texas sheriff running for re-election.  His opponents have been
trying unsuccessfully to think of a good campaign issue to use against him.
Finally one man suggests spreading "a rumor that he fucks pigs."  Another
protests, "You know he doesn't do that."  "I know," says the first man, "but
let's make the sonofabitch deny it."
(This is famous.  No one has yet asked Bush or Gore about their pig
activities--ed.)

June 1967, pg. 16, col. 3--...the eighth sin was the desire to _see_ sin.

August 1967, pg. 9, col. 1--NAT TURNER: Bazooks at cost, Honkie.

August 1967, pg. 15, col. 2--...LSD tripereeno...

September 1968, pg. 3, col. 2--..."You're on the government's shit-list, you
know."  "That's a coincidence," I replied.  "The government's on _my_
shit-list."

September 1968, pg. 14, col. 3--A. I'm rubber and you're glue.  Everything
you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

September 1968, pg. 21, col. 1--They took one step forward; I took two steps
back, ballet-style.

Septmeber 1968, pg. 23, col. 2--The statement was all ready when up stepped
Sirhan Sirhan, and in ten seconds he made it a whole new ball game.

September 1968, pg. 24, col. 2--..."Get together and fight, you are getting
the shit kicked out of you."

October 1968, pg. 2, col. 3--_Jaundiced Press_  This month's bad taste award
goes to a perennial contender, the _New York Daily News_.  With a picture of
baseball star Rico Carty, who was to be examined for possible tuberculosis,
the _News_ ran the overline, "TB or Not TB?"  It turned out, incidentally,
that he did have it, and is out for the season if not for good.

October 1968, pg. 16, col. 1--..."the gray area of unwholesome literature."
(It was a grey area--ed.)

November 1968, pg. 3, col. 2 headline--What Do They Want, Blood?

November 1968, pg. 6, col. 2--...the V sign... (Used twice this column--ed.)

November 1968, pg. 15, col. 1:
     "Rig.  It's cockney slang for dick.  There are a lot of those slang
words.  Rennie learned most of them from the Hollies.  _Up the stairs_ means
take a shit, _bristol cities_ are titties, _daisy roots_ are boots,
_chopper_, _rig_ and _hampton wick_, they all mean cock, and _charva_ means
fuck.  Eye magazine printed it 'charver.'  Eye _magazine_.  So un_hip_!"

June 1968:
   "Final Solutions to the Latrinalia Question" by Donovan Bess, Alan Dundes,
and Robert Reisner.  Bathroom wall stuff gets HUGE play here, and Allan
Walker Read's name is mentioned.  This entire issue must be read through.
Here are some stuff:

Pg. 8, col. 1--"God is dead--Neitsche."  "Nietsche is dead--God."
Pg. 8, col. 2--"While you're reading this, You're peaing (sic) on your shoes."
Pg. 8, col. 3--"Here I sit, broken-hearted, Paid to shit And only farted."
Pg. 9, col. 1--"The heat of the meat is inversely proportional to the angle
of the dangle."  (Try looking THAT classic up in your ENCARTA or
Titelman--ed.)
Pg. 9, col. 1--"Suck, don't fuck."
Pg. 10, col. 3--"For a good blow job, call 777-2024.  Bill, don't call, it's
me, Bob."
Pg. 11, col. 2--"Flush twice: L.A. needs water."  (At RPI in lovely Troy, NY,
the West Hall was perched precariously on the hill above the lovely city.  So
it said, "Flush hard..."  Never mind.--ed.)
Pg. 11, col. 3--"Anyone who can piss this high ought to be a fireman."
Pg. 12, col. 1--"You can wiggle, jiggle, jump, or dance; But the last three
drops go down your pants."
Pg. 15, col. 2--"My god, are you all queer at NYU?  Doesn't anyone fuck?"
(I'll check that out right now--ed.)