Yippie & more from THE REALIST

[Bob Fitzke]

My favorite recollection from The Realist was the banner or flag it
sold, "Fuck Communism".

Bob

Bapopik at AOL.COM wrote:
>
>      THE REALIST was talked about on ADS-L before.  I just went through some
> issues.
>
> YIPPIE--August 1967, THE REALIST, article written by Paul Krassner, pg. 21,
> col. 2 (OED has 5 April 1968 TIME--ed.):
>      Coincidental with the Democrats' Convention there's going to be a Youth
> International Party--YIP--and Chicago will be invaded by a mass of _yippies_.
>  You've just witnessed the birth of a word.
>
> February 1967, pg. 7, col. 1 cartoon (used car dealer talk)--"This one was
> owned by an elderly Negro who drove it under the speed limit for fear of some
> cop ticketing him."
>
> February 1967, pg. 11, col. 1 cartoon (Jewish woman on phone)--"Darling, my
> schwartza is threatening to quit!"
> February 1967, pg. 29, col. 1 cartoon (two gay men are talking)--"Ronald
> Reagan was in this big crowd and I copped a feel."
>
> February 1967, pg. 30, col. 1 cartoon (a policeman looks into a car and
> questions couple)--"Making love!  Like hell!  You were fucking--I saw you!"
>
> June 1967, pg. 3 headline--Some of My Best Friends Are Arabs.
>
> June 1967, pg. 4, col. 1--...little-old-lady-from-Dubuque.
>
> June 1967, pg. 8, col. 3--..."Flower Power"...
>
> June 1967, pg. 14, col. 3--It was extremely unlikely that Jackie or Lyndon
> would bring suit, if only because they would have to concede that what I
> publish was believable.  Indeed, one of LBJ's favorite jokes is about a
> popular Texas sheriff running for re-election.  His opponents have been
> trying unsuccessfully to think of a good campaign issue to use against him.
> Finally one man suggests spreading "a rumor that he fucks pigs."  Another
> protests, "You know he doesn't do that."  "I know," says the first man, "but
> let's make the sonofabitch deny it."
> (This is famous.  No one has yet asked Bush or Gore about their pig
> activities--ed.)
>
> June 1967, pg. 16, col. 3--...the eighth sin was the desire to _see_ sin.
>
> August 1967, pg. 9, col. 1--NAT TURNER: Bazooks at cost, Honkie.
>
> August 1967, pg. 15, col. 2--...LSD tripereeno...
>
> September 1968, pg. 3, col. 2--..."You're on the government's shit-list, you
> know."  "That's a coincidence," I replied.  "The government's on _my_
> shit-list."
>
> September 1968, pg. 14, col. 3--A. I'm rubber and you're glue.  Everything
> you say bounces off me and sticks to you.
>
> September 1968, pg. 21, col. 1--They took one step forward; I took two steps
> back, ballet-style.
>
> Septmeber 1968, pg. 23, col. 2--The statement was all ready when up stepped
> Sirhan Sirhan, and in ten seconds he made it a whole new ball game.
>
> September 1968, pg. 24, col. 2--..."Get together and fight, you are getting
> the shit kicked out of you."
>
> October 1968, pg. 2, col. 3--_Jaundiced Press_  This month's bad taste award
> goes to a perennial contender, the _New York Daily News_.  With a picture of
> baseball star Rico Carty, who was to be examined for possible tuberculosis,
> the _News_ ran the overline, "TB or Not TB?"  It turned out, incidentally,
> that he did have it, and is out for the season if not for good.
>
> October 1968, pg. 16, col. 1--..."the gray area of unwholesome literature."
> (It was a grey area--ed.)
>
> November 1968, pg. 3, col. 2 headline--What Do They Want, Blood?
>
> November 1968, pg. 6, col. 2--...the V sign... (Used twice this column--ed.)
>
> November 1968, pg. 15, col. 1:
>      "Rig.  It's cockney slang for dick.  There are a lot of those slang
> words.  Rennie learned most of them from the Hollies.  _Up the stairs_ means
> take a shit, _bristol cities_ are titties, _daisy roots_ are boots,
> _chopper_, _rig_ and _hampton wick_, they all mean cock, and _charva_ means
> fuck.  Eye magazine printed it 'charver.'  Eye _magazine_.  So un_hip_!"
>
> June 1968:
>    "Final Solutions to the Latrinalia Question" by Donovan Bess, Alan Dundes,
> and Robert Reisner.  Bathroom wall stuff gets HUGE play here, and Allan
> Walker Read's name is mentioned.  This entire issue must be read through.
> Here are some stuff:
>
> Pg. 8, col. 1--"God is dead--Neitsche."  "Nietsche is dead--God."
> Pg. 8, col. 2--"While you're reading this, You're peaing (sic) on your shoes."
> Pg. 8, col. 3--"Here I sit, broken-hearted, Paid to shit And only farted."
> Pg. 9, col. 1--"The heat of the meat is inversely proportional to the angle
> of the dangle."  (Try looking THAT classic up in your ENCARTA or
> Titelman--ed.)
> Pg. 9, col. 1--"Suck, don't fuck."
> Pg. 10, col. 3--"For a good blow job, call 777-2024.  Bill, don't call, it's
> me, Bob."
> Pg. 11, col. 2--"Flush twice: L.A. needs water."  (At RPI in lovely Troy, NY,
> the West Hall was perched precariously on the hill above the lovely city.  So
> it said, "Flush hard..."  Never mind.--ed.)
> Pg. 11, col. 3--"Anyone who can piss this high ought to be a fireman."
> Pg. 12, col. 1--"You can wiggle, jiggle, jump, or dance; But the last three
> drops go down your pants."
> Pg. 15, col. 2--"My god, are you all queer at NYU?  Doesn't anyone fuck?"
> (I'll check that out right now--ed.)