Murphy's Laws - Hawaiian Style

[Mark Mandel]

As threatenedXXXXXXXXXX promised. Edited down to about 30% of original to
include only the Laws with imho interesting lexis or comment on language.
If you don't understand these, don't ask me; I don't know! Ask a Hawai(|'
|`)ian.

Murphy's Laws - Hawaiian Style
------------------------------

The chance of being able to divide a manapua evenly in half depends upon
how much you want to share it.

The syrup in your shave ice will always run out before the ice.

Never talk to haoles in pidgin, they may try to answer back.

The poi dog you got free from a friend will always be smarter and cuter at
their house.

Be wary of a Hawaiian who says he lives in Kahala but got a District
Exception to Farrington.

The ume will always be in the last corner of the musubi.

The Kim Chee you ate three days ago will always resurface while you're on
that important date.

If an invitation says dinner at 6 PM (Hawaiian Time) you can safely assume
they mean 7:30 PM.

Formal in Hawaii is a T-shirt without pukas and new slippas.

When in doubt talk pidgin, when in trouble talk Hawaiian.

The chance of you losing the top of your shave ice is directly proportional
to how long the line was.

On the day you start your diet, someone will bring a bag of malasadas to
the office.

Whoever invented saimin must have also invented spam.

                  Mark A. Mandel : Senior Linguist
            Dragon Systems, a Lernout & Hauspie company
 320 Nevada St., Newton, MA 02460, USA : http://www.dragonsys.com