Ellen Johnson ejohnson at BERRY.EDU
Thu Dec 13 22:42:48 UTC 2001

I couldn't resist passing this along.  if Jesse could write a whole book
about the phrses "The F-Word" appears in, maybe one of us will take up
this area of the vocabulary next.



The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a
response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Read on and
you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt,

Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6
children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the
twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout.

After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to
hyphenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The
couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseparable throughout childhood
subsequently married the Happens brothers.

The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was
quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned
from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.

So, NOW if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can beg to
differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire Schitt list!

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