Mazooma (1900)

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HEBREW YARNS AND DIALECT HUMOR
by T. J. Carry
New York: The Popular Publishing Co.
1900

Pg. 5, Col. 1:
   _Fly In The Soup_
   Mr. Rosenski took his boy in a restaurant last veek to get a bowl of soup.  Jakey commenced to eat it, and he grabbed his father by the coat and he says, "papa, there's a fly in der soup."  Papa says, "eat der soup and vait till you come down to der fly, tell de vaiter and he'll give you another bowl for nothing."

Pg. 12, Col. 1:
   _The Origin of the Hot Tamale._
(...)  Der gal's name was Mollie, and she says she wants er nice hot sausage an er cup of coffee.  (...)

Pg. 89, Col. 1:
   _"Mazooma" Joe._
Mit laughinks ant mit shouts frin joy,
   Der beeble fairly bubbles,
Ven Choe Velch stants der sdache ubon
   Ant dells spoudt his drubbles.

He knows spoudt der Yiddish man
   Mit viskers red ant vireish;
But how he loined it, I know not,
   Because Choe Velch is Irish.

But nefer mind--he maigs us crin,
   Ant I haf hoid a rumor;
Besides his chokes, he also maigs
   A lot of real "mazooma."
---GEO W. DAY
(OED and RHHDAS have 1901 for "mazuma"--ed.)

Pg. 81, Col. 1:
   _The Slang of the Day._
The slang of our day is a puzzle,
   Invented by--ah, who can tell?
A drink is a "smile," or a "guzzle,"
   A swindler is merely a "sell."
One tells you a tale you can't "swaller,"
   He tells you "by thunder," 'tis true;
You bet him your last "bottom dollar,"
   "By thunder," that's all you can do.

They asked you "How goes it?" on meeting.
   "Take care of yourself," is adieu;
They substitute "beating" for cheating,
   And sometimes combine both the two.
A foolish, "your head isn't level,"
   Or, maybe "your head isn't clear;"
Instead of saying "go to the devil,"
   They tell you "walk off on your ear."

To praise you they say "you are bully,"
   For honest they nickname you "square,"
Although please to understand fully,
   There's not many that way, "I swear."
(Co. 2--ed.)
While robbing they call "going through you,"
   And "go for him" means an attack.
When financial troubles come to you,
   They say, "Oh, he's up on his back."

"Fusil oil" is the new name for whiskey,
   "Spondulix" cognomen for pelf,
"You've been there," when charged as too frisky,
   Well, "You know how it is yourself."
And if a proper reproof you should offer,
   They tell you "that game is quite played."
Say, walk off, you "big, dirty loafer,"
   Or a large "Mansard roof" will be made.

Then sometimes you're "cornered" or "euchered,"
   That is, if you get in a "fix;"
They call you "galoot" if untutored
   In every galoot's knavish tricks.
There are "That's what's the matter with Hannah,"
   And "dead beats" on every side,
If the "skunks" will not alter their manners,
   I don't care a "cuss," "let 'em slide."