Carbonated beverages

Mike Salovesh t20mxs1 at CORN.CSO.NIU.EDU
Mon Sep 2 19:45:08 UTC 2002


I filled out your Web survey on the great "Soda versus Pop" debate.
http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~almccon/pop_soda/

Like all normal human beings, I say "pop".  (I am aware, however, that
there exist a few pockets where environmental deprivation has led to
linguistic degradation. I have even heard that in the Greater East Coast
Megalopolis there are a few sociopaths who still use "soda" as a generic
for such beverages, but I prefer to believe this to be an urban legend.)

I was born and raised primarily in Chicago, and speak Leonard
Bloomfield's S.A.M.E. (That's Standard Average Midwestern English, a
highly endangered language no longer taught in schools. There seem to be
no native speakers of S.A.M.E. who were born after World War II.)

I cam't resist additional comment.

1.  God invented English so Moses would cite the 10 Commandments in a
form King James would find suitable for publication.  God considered
adding an 11th commandment, but he'd already established the decimal
system by giving Adam ten fingers.  The proposed text of the 11th
Commandment was "Thou shalt not call a beverage a 'soda' unless it
contains ice cream."

What a pity that Adam, as First Man, couldn't have received the mutant
gene for twelve fingers.  That would have given us the Duodecimal Do's
and Dont's, leaving room for soda on the side -- AND a Commandment that
any Chicagoan can tell you is as important as the Ten Moses got on Mount
Sinai:

"Thou shalt not put catsup on thy hotdog."

(Those who speak heathen non-Chicagoan may need to substitute such
barbarisms as "ketchup", "weiner", and the like to come to a full and
proper understanding of this commandment, which also applies to kilbasa
and its relatives. The Bratwurst Rule is so widely understood that no
sane person would think of contaminating a brat with anything but beer.
Sauerkraut optional.)

2.  Your list of alternatives is too short.  It's a shame to reduce it
to pop, soda, coke, and "other". The residual category makes it
impossible to note the individuality of the following, inter alia:

TONIC  Boston localism. (This creates the necessity for stodgier members
of the MIT and Harvard faculties to find a non-ambiguous term for the
beverage often used to dilute gin. Frequent substitute: "it".)

PHOSPHATE   An unbottled carbonated beverage that must be freshly mixed
at a "soda fountain" (q.v.).

SELTZER  Originally N.Y., but widely diffused as a traditional
accompaniment to Passover seders. Seltzer comes in many flavors.
Unflavored seltzer may also be called "soda water".  (Also see "two
cents plain".)

DR. PEPPER  Attested from Shannon County in the Missouri Ozarks, but may
have wider distribution.  (Note that "Dr. Pepper" formerly might have
been offered as an alternative to Greazy Dick beer.)

SODA POP  Used only by ad-writers and other non-native speakers of
American English.

SOFT DRINKS  (usu. plural) Although much used in written communications
such as menus and signs on lunchwagons, this phrase is only spoken aloud
when dealing with non-native speakers.

3. I don't object categorically to your "other" classification. There
are several terms (e.g., "fizzwater") that are so statistically
insignificant that they would entirely disappear from your data reports
unless combined into a residual "other" category.

Congratulations on your choice of a research project. It surely deserves
the highest support.


-- mike salovesh    <m-salovesh-9 at alumni.uchicago.edu>      PEACE !!!



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