TANSTAAFL (1949)

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   A happy combination of food, science fiction, and economics.  Fred Shapiro
posted this in 2001:


TANSTAAFL was Robert Heinlein's slogan in his 1966 book, The Moon is a Harsh
Mistress.  It became popular in science-fiction fan circles. However,
TINSTAAFL is documented in 1952 in a reference suggesting it may have been around for
a while before that.

Fred Shapiro


   The Ancestry search engine takes you to thousands of "free lunch" hits,
but Newspaperarchive.com (the new search engine, at least) is easier to use and
takes you right to it.


   3 October 1949, THE BRADFORD ERA (Bradford, PA), pg. 6, col. 4:
 _These Days_
_"Tanstaafl" Contains Masterly Plan of Author_
   Pierre Dos Utt is a learned man whose name appears in no "Who's Who" and
whose scholarly works are listed in no bbibliographies.  In fact, Pierre Dos
Utt is a planner who has devoted himself in the remaking of society and he is
not the first who tried it.  The blessing is that most planners only talk or
write about it and get lost in a maze of words, although Karl Marx has become the
ikon og myriads of the breed whp quarrel so violently that the hope of
society is that they may devour each other.
   At any rate, Pierre Dos Utt has at long last produced a book which
contains his masterly plan.  he calls it "Yanstaffl."  The author says that it is
from the Babylonian, but philologists will insist that it is sanskrit, corrupted
by Low German.  It might even be a jargon fouled up byu Lower Slobbovian, than
which nothing is lower as everybody knows.  However, it has meaning which I
shall secretly give you at the end of this monograph on Tanstaafl which I write
with the approval of ASGS, which is whatever you think it is and I hope you
keep it clean.
   * * * *
   THE ORIGINAL "Tanstaafl" is p[ublished by Cairo {ublications which may or
may not exist for any other purpose and which gives its address as 302 5th
Street, S. E., Canton, Ohio.  The S. E. is undoubtedly imitation of Washington,
D. C., Dos Utt thereby paying his respects to the fountain of all knowledge,
the seat of perfection, the apogee of conglomeration, even as Brahms did in his
First to Beethoven's Ninth.
   Now, to get to the heart of the matter.  Dos Utt finds the human race in a
very sad state and has a solution for the problem, he following in a long
line of solvers which includes Hammurabi, Wang Anshih, Akbar, Karl Marx and Henry
Wallace, to say nothing of Aristotle, Plato, Henry George, and Leon (Col.
6--ed.) Keyserling.  He states the problem succinctly:
   "And correlated with this inherent urge to gain at the expense of others
is the deep-seated desire to show off our superioirity.  For this reason, we
buy flashy automobiles, elaborate houses, extravagant clothes and sparkling
jewels.
   "As money is the medium through which we are able to reflect our
affluence, it at once becomes the final goal of our objective.  Hence money is the
ultimate symbol of our inherent disposition to kill."
   Now, if you understand that, you can understand anything and ought to
reach the preoper conclusion which is to drop dead, as Milton Berle would say in
lingua Bronx, but Dos Utt puts it more cogently in the following forensic:
   ****
   "THE BASIC human urge to kill for self-aggrandisement is very strong and
it is also very dangerous if it is not controlled.  Our recommendation is to
stimulate personal ambition, but to have it strictly regulated by a Supreme
State authority.  Then the pattern of human advancement can be evenly regulated
for the benefit of all the deserving."
(Col. 7--ed.)
   The volume is amply supplied with charts and graphs but omits photographs
as beneath scientific contempt.  Also photographic exactitude defies the
artistic skill of the chart drawer who divines what figures mean by making them
obscure.  It is thus ruled by the Society of Statistical Arts.  It also is
adequately statistical and footnoted and proves its point by algebra but omits
astrophysics.
   However, I should fail my readers were I not to point to one essential
lapse in this otherwise colossal labor.  On page 18, Dos Utt provides a chart to
prove that horses,  cattle, fowl and hogs have made great progress but that
man has stood still.  He has not, most surprisingly, noted that a wingless fowl
has been produced thus increasing the breast of this biped.  This omission is
serious because of its implications, for were we, by our higher intelligence,
to produce an armless man, we should forever save the human race from
kleptomania which is a short term for such creatures as pick-pockets, tac-collectors
and subsidy hunters.
   Now, our secret:
   Tanstaaffl (sic) is mnemonic for "there ain't no such thing as a free
lunch."



   No author is given.  "These Days" was a syndicated column by George E.
Sokolsky (1893-1962).  The following is from a search for "Dos Utt":


 Approximately 5 Results        Documents 1 - 5 for Search term(s) "dos utt"
Search took 0.125 seconds.

Independent Record - 10/4/1949
...dates undobtedly two added Pierre DOS UTT is a learned man whose name
appears in no.....in no bibliographies. In fact, Pierre DOS UTT is a planner who
has devoted himself to.....devour each other. At any rate, Pierre DOS UTT has
at long last produced a book which.....in ..Key to the CUy In ington, D. C..
DOS UTT thereby one scene he tears a telephone..
Helena, Montana Tuesday, October 04, 1949  817 k

Waterloo Daily Courier - 10/2/1949
...GibbeJrish By GEORGE E. SOKOLSKY Pierre DOS UTT is a learned man whose
name appears in no.....in no bibliographies. In fact, Pierre DOS UTT is a planner
who has devoted himself to.....lently that the hope of society but DOS UTT
puts it more tnat inftv maw i j. that.....devour each other. At any rate, Fierre
DOS UTT has at long: last produced a book which..
Waterloo, Iowa Sunday, October 02, 1949  831 k

Bradford Era - 10/3/1949
...was a bottle of insect lotion Pierre DOS UTT is a learned man Keyserling.
He states.....I Attlee to unt11 lale j fact. Pierre DOS UTT is a planner j is
the deep-seated desire.....otherwise colossal labor. On page 18, DOS UTT
provides a chart to prove that horses.....wlll jnsjst tnat H is salient, j but DOS
UTT puts it more cogently has sunk to a..
Bradford, Pennsylvania Monday, October 03, 1949  707 k

Joplin Globe - 10/1/1949
...SOLlvOLSKY. i to retired miners. Pierre DOS UTT is a learned man whose
name appears in no.....devour each other. At any rate, Pierre DOS UTT has, at
long last, produced a book which..
Joplin, Missouri Saturday, October 01, 1949  832 k

Berkshire Evening Eagle - 1/24/1950
...centered around a book by Dr. Pierre DOS UTT, who offers "a plan for new
economic.....important corporation. The teachings of Dr. UTT point to the fact
that man has produced.....We are reaching an age, according to Dr. "UTT, when
this should happen State of..
Pittsfield, Massachusetts Tuesday, January 24, 1950  809 k