So there really are differences between British and American English

[Dennis R. Preston]

Gerald,

I don't get it. What do the British have for "tool" that we don't? I
have it (as a noun) as:

1) implement (screwdriver, wrench,...)
2) penis
3) a silly, stupid, ineffective person (pretty clearly derived from 2).

If there's an (n.) tool I don't know about among the Brits, I need to
know. Some of my best .........

dInIs

>This message is solely for Americans. British subscribers should read
>no further and promptly delete what follows.
>
>   Okay? All set? Here goes.
>
>   I quote from the _St. Louis Post Dispatch_ Oct. 26, 2003, pg.
>2C/1-3; article by Jerry Berger, title: "At least St. Louisan Didn't
>Call Prince Andrew a Bum!":
>   'RE-MEMBER, SUE: It's too bad Sue Engelhardt doesn't live in
>Pittsburgh.  Residents of that town have been subjected to days of
>lessons in the proper behavior toward royalty.  But Engelhardt, the
>princess of Peabody Coal, is a hometowner so excited at meeting HRH
>The Duke of York, (aka Prince Andrew) at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel
>Wednesday night, that she had the young prince baffled.  Engelhardt
>discussed coal-to-Great Britain, at which point Prince Andrew
>deadpanned, "We use gas!"  Turning to the prince, who was in town to
>raise money for the English Speaking Union-St. Louis Branch,
>Engelhardt told him, "You're the best tool we have."  Prince Andrew
>shot back, "I'm a tool?" For the record, Sue, "tool" is British slang
>for something that a member of the Royal Family is unlikely to
>mention in polite company.  Still, the allusion drew a faint smile
>from Andrew's otherwise scowling Special Branch security detail.
>Andrew's impromptu admission at the beginning of his prepared remarks
>that he finally understood the well-intentioned reference was the
>only spark in a lackluster, four-minute royal oration.'
>
>Gerald Cohen,
>an unabashed Anglophile

--
Dennis R. Preston
University Distinguished Professor
Department of Linguistics & Germanic, Slavic,
      Asian & African Languages
Michigan State University
East Lansing, MI 48824-1027
e-mail: preston at msu.edu
phone: (517) 432-3099