evolution of "cheap date" (was: This is no sh*t.)

[Indigo Som]

I'm sure "cheap date" once meant exactly what Wilson says, but it's
definitely evolved quite a bit. "Cheap date" exists for me (38 yr old
woman) only in an ironic, *mildly* self-effacing way in discussions
of how easy it is for oneself to get drunk. Men & women in my
universe (mostly 30s to early 40s, various ethnicities & sexual
orientations, mostly hyper-educated middle class) are equally likely
to refer to themselves as cheap dates. If you get drunk easily, then
you're a cheap date. There is no particular pride attached to being a
cheap date -- we don't brag about it -- & the shame of being a cheap
date (or a lightweight) is so incredibly mild that it barely exists,
because we understand that there is no inherent value (only a sort of
residual tough-guy value) in needing to drink a lot in order to get
drunk. Stupidity doesn't enter into it. "cheap date" is a literal
thing of fewer drinks = less money, & the easy lay part of it (drunk
date = easy lay) is only there as more ironic residue from less
enlightened times/concepts, since we have no particular judgements or
values associated w/ having sex on the first (or any other) date.
Come to think of it, though, there *is* judgement about alcohol being
a significant factor in said sex, & some of the irony of "cheap date"
lies in the assumption that none of us would ever get so plastered as
to have sex when we wouldn't otherwise have wanted to, & flipside,
that we don't have to get drunk in order to give ourselves
"permission" to have sex.

>Wilson wrote: Everyone here is, no doubt, familiar with the slang
>meaning of the
>phrase, "she's a cheap date," wherein "cheap date" means something
>like: "not only is she an easy lay, but she's also so stupid that
>she'll pick you up in her car, pay for your dinner, drinks, and
>cigarettes, and put the motel room on her credit card." Now, if I were
>a woman and I knew that men were saying that about me, even if it was
>true, at the very least, I'd be displeased. But it has been my
>experience that women are so unaware of what "cheap date" means that
>they consider it a compliment and literally *brag* that they've been
>called cheap dates!

--
Indigo Som
http://www.indigosom.com

Poets don't have hobbies; they have obsessions --Leonard Nathan