evolution of "cheap date" (was: This is no sh*t.)

[Wilson Gray]

Works for me. I was, of course, talking about my own day, some 30 to 40
years before today, more's the pity!;-) If only I'd known then what I
know now! Old too soon, smart too late. Nevertheless, I find that the
concept of a man describing *himself* as a cheap date augurs well for
the future of interpersonal relationships.

-Wilson Gray

On Aug 2, 2004, at 3:35 PM, Indigo Som wrote:

> ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> -----------------------
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Indigo Som <indigo at WELL.COM>
> Subject:      evolution of "cheap date" (was: This is no sh*t.)
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --------
>
> I'm sure "cheap date" once meant exactly what Wilson says, but it's
> definitely evolved quite a bit. "Cheap date" exists for me (38 yr old
> woman) only in an ironic, *mildly* self-effacing way in discussions
> of how easy it is for oneself to get drunk. Men & women in my
> universe (mostly 30s to early 40s, various ethnicities & sexual
> orientations, mostly hyper-educated middle class) are equally likely
> to refer to themselves as cheap dates. If you get drunk easily, then
> you're a cheap date. There is no particular pride attached to being a
> cheap date -- we don't brag about it -- & the shame of being a cheap
> date (or a lightweight) is so incredibly mild that it barely exists,
> because we understand that there is no inherent value (only a sort of
> residual tough-guy value) in needing to drink a lot in order to get
> drunk. Stupidity doesn't enter into it. "cheap date" is a literal
> thing of fewer drinks = less money, & the easy lay part of it (drunk
> date = easy lay) is only there as more ironic residue from less
> enlightened times/concepts, since we have no particular judgements or
> values associated w/ having sex on the first (or any other) date.
> Come to think of it, though, there *is* judgement about alcohol being
> a significant factor in said sex, & some of the irony of "cheap date"
> lies in the assumption that none of us would ever get so plastered as
> to have sex when we wouldn't otherwise have wanted to, & flipside,
> that we don't have to get drunk in order to give ourselves
> "permission" to have sex.
>
>> Wilson wrote: Everyone here is, no doubt, familiar with the slang
>> meaning of the
>> phrase, "she's a cheap date," wherein "cheap date" means something
>> like: "not only is she an easy lay, but she's also so stupid that
>> she'll pick you up in her car, pay for your dinner, drinks, and
>> cigarettes, and put the motel room on her credit card." Now, if I were
>> a woman and I knew that men were saying that about me, even if it was
>> true, at the very least, I'd be displeased. But it has been my
>> experience that women are so unaware of what "cheap date" means that
>> they consider it a compliment and literally *brag* that they've been
>> called cheap dates!
>
> --
> Indigo Som
> http://www.indigosom.com
>
> Poets don't have hobbies; they have obsessions --Leonard Nathan
>