Sausage (=fire hose) (1879); Siamese (1878); Cold Wittles (1875); "No Stopping"

[Bapopik at AOL.COM]

NO STOPPING/NO STANDING/NO PARKING
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Surely, a question asked to torture me. Check it out here, but I don't give
advice and you didn't hear anything from "the judge."
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_http://www.nyc.gov/html/dof/html/parking/park_tickets_violations.shtml_
(http://www.nyc.gov/html/dof/html/parking/park_tickets_violations.shtml)
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OT: FRIDAY, A DAY IN THE LIFE
So I'm doing parking tickets, in the room with no windows, in the help
center with bars on rooms with windows, in the room with no air, dust, and a
broken time clock that reads 9 a.m. May 11, and a computer system that crashes
hourly.
...
A guy comes before me with an expired inspection ticket. He looks very  sick.
Why didn't he get the car inspected on time? "I was sick," he says. "And  I'm
still sick. I'm sick right now!"
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HE'S SICK RIGHT NOW?? He's three inches away from me and he's sick right  now?
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And you realize, after all these years, you're still the lowest person in
New York.
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COLD WITTLES
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1 October 1875, Daily Graphic (New York), pg. 701 illustration:
"DEMOCRATIC HOUSE" offers:
RED HOT APPLE JACK
COCKTAIL WITH SHERRY, BRANDY & SODA IN IT 5 cts.
_BILL OF FARE_
REFORM ROLLS 5 cts.
CURRANTCY PIE 10 cts
PURITY PUDDING 5 c
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"REPUBLICAN HOUSE" offers:
COOKED GOOSE 10 cts.
JOB'S TURKEY 10 cts
REPUBLICAN HASH 5 Cents
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Caption:
THE LIBERAL TRAMP IN A QUANDARY
A Liberal Tramp (Copy illegible on this name---ed.): "NOW, WHICH O' THEM
HOUSES 'UD GIVE ME THE MOST COLD WITTLES FOR THESE 'ERE LIBERAL
PRINCIPLES--BLAST 'EM!"
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SIAMESE
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27 April 1878, The Fireman's Journal, pg. 415, col. 2:
_The Advantages of "Siamesing."_
(The article does not use this word--ed.)
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22 March 1879, The Fireman's Journal, pg. 244, col. 2:
Sometime since the Caswell Fire Supply Company, of Chicago, sent here to be
experimented with a siamese connection, a description of which appeared in THE
 JOURNAL.
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SAUSAGE (=FIRE HOSE)
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It's usually called "spaghetti" now. Was fire hose ever called "sausage,"  or
is this just a drunken raving?
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29 November 1879, The Fireman's Journal, pg. 466, col. 2:
_WANTED SAUSAGE._
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Yesterday afternoon a man from "away out somewhere" came to town and
exhibited himself. He had never experienced very much experience, and the little
experience he had passed through was considerably injured by a sufficient, but
unknown, quantity of whisky. Stopping on the side-walk, and looking at a coil
of  hose, he exclaimed:
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"Well, if that ain't the longest string of sausage I ever saw, I hope to  see
myself billious."
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He went away, swallowed more stuff, to which one of our friends, Billy
Shakespeare, referred when he spoke of a man "taking it into his mouth to steal
away his brains," and came back.
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"I'm interested in this sassage, and I'm blind if I don't take some of it
home."
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He took hol if the hose, and was pulling at it violently in an endeavor to
break its connection with a plug, when Office Dillon came up.
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"What are you doing?"
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"Hah!"
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"What are you trying to do?"
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"I'm pickin' up some of the sassage that's lying around here so  reckless."
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"Let that hose alone. Go on off."
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"Don't you allow a man to pick up something when he finds it?"
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"No, sir."
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"What am I to do?"
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"Move on or I'll put you in the lock-up."
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"Then I'll dissolve partnership with this thing. You had me in your lock-up
last summer, but you won't catch me again."
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He went on away, and the last heard of him he was trying to make
arrangements at a wagon-yard to sleep with a mule.