y'all-omigod-bonics

[Dennis R. Preston]

Bro Larry is raht; it shonuff is Muhguhmry.

dInIs

>At 11:43 AM -0800 11/28/05, Arnold M. Zwicky wrote:
>>the following bit of dialect mockery was posted by mike mckinley on
>>soc.motss, 11/.23/05.  it can be found several places on the web, but
>>so far no attribution has been found.  for for those of you who are
>>entertained by this sort of thing:
>>
>>-------
>>The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the
>>seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington
>>designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a
>>language to be taught in all Southern schools.
>>
>>The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:
>>
>>HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
>>
>>HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage
>>"Heidi, Hire yew?"
>>
>>BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage
>>"My brother bard my pickup truck."
>>
>>JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
>>Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
>>
>>BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is
>>Berminhayum.
>
>Shaw is a curious way to pernounce "Montgomery", but what do I know?
>I'm a ingnert damyankee.
>
>Larry
>
>>Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left
>>$20,000,000 in improvements."
>>
>>MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from
>>Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in
>>munts."
>>
>>THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a
>>bare."
>>
>>BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and
>>yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
>>
>>IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage
>>"Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
>>
>>RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I
>>thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my
>>brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
>>
>>ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope
>>my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
>>
>>FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh
>>don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna
>>catch far."
>>
>>TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother
>>of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
>>
>>TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the
>>creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
>>Paris sometime."
>>
>>RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at
>>age 65."
>>
>>FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle
>>or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup
>>y'uh."
>>
>>RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We
>>Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
>>
>>CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat
>>cheer."
>>
>>FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a
>>wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
>>
>>DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."
>>
>>ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He
>>cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"
>>
>>BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away
>>from that bob war fence."
>>
>>JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that
>>my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence
>>cump'ny?"
>>
>>HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze
>>ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
>>
>>SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see".
>>
>>VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed
>>New York City ... view?"
>>
>>GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them
>>gubmint boys shore is ignert."


--
Dennis R. Preston
University Distinguished Professor
Department of English
15-C Morrill Hall
Michigan State University
East Lansing, MI 48824-1036
Phone: (517) 353-4736
Fax: (517) 353-3755
preston at msu.edu