"Knock off its horns and wipe its ass" (Texan ordering steak "rare")

Bapopik at AOL.COM Bapopik at AOL.COM
Sun Dec 31 05:29:34 UTC 2006

I just finished a bunch of neat entries. I have a little earlier on "You  can 
always tell an (X) man, but you can't tell him much." The Yale Book of  
Quotations left out some great Dan Rather-isms.
Does anyone know this "ordering steak very rare" phrase? It appears in at  
least three movies and in several joke collections, almost always with a Texas  
“Knock off its horns, wipe its ass, and throw it on the plate”  (Texan 
ordering “rare” steak)
"Knock off its horns, wipe its ass, and throw it on the plate” is a  
stereotypical order of “rare” steak by a Texan visiting a steakhouse. The line  
appeared in the Australian film Barry McKenzie Holds His Own (1974), the  film The 
Cowboy Way (1994), the film Cowboy Up (2000, released in  2001), and the 
television series 24 with Keifer Sutherland as Jack Bauer.  

_How  Would You Like That Cooked, Sir?[rec.humor.funny]_ 
The other day, a  friend of mine (from Texas) and I went out to a local 
steakhouse.  This is  the dialog that followed after I made my order. 

WAITRESS:  And for  you, sir? 
JOHN:  I’ll have the top sirloin. 
WAITRESS:  And how  would you like that cooked. 
JOHN:  Just whack off the horns, wipe its  ass, and throw it on the plate. 
JOHN:  Rare.  

_Jokebook  #1_ (http://www.textfiles.com/humor/JOKES/joke002.jok)  
... And that kind of reminds me of one time that I was in a steak  house in 
Austin. Guy came in and sat at the table next to us and ordered a  sirloin. The 
waitress asked him how he wanted it and he answered, “Knock off its  horns, 
wipe its a** and walk it through the kitchen.” 

_Myspace.com_ (http://profile.
“Knock off its horns and wipe its ass...I’m HONGRY!” 
66 years  old 
United States 
Last Login: 12/19/2006 

_Internet Movie Database_ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071196/quotes)   
Memorable Quotes from 
Barry McKenzie Holds His Own (1974)  
Hugo Cretin: How would you like your steak, sir? 
Barry McKenzie: Just  knock off its horns, wipe its arse and bung it on a 

_The Movie Quotes  Site_ 
QUOTE Just knock off its horns, wipe its nasty ole ass, and chuck  it right 
down on the plate 
MOVIE TITLE Cowboy Way, The - 1994 

_Deseret  Morning News_ 
Small plates are not ‘in’ for eaters 
Deseret News (Salt  Lake City), Jun 13, 2006 by Doug Robinson Deseret Morning 
Eaters aren’t real particular. Our attitude about meat, for instance, was  
pretty much summed up by the Woody Harrelson character in the movie “Cowboy Up.”
  When a waiter in a fancy restaurant asks him how he wants his steak cooked, 
 Harrelson replies, “Just knock off the horns and plop her down on my plate!”

_Jack  Bauer Fun Facts!_ 
When asked at a restaurant how he likes his steak, Jack  Bauer replies, “Just 
knock off the horns and wipe its ass.” 

_Google  Groups: alt.california_ 
From:  Aviator 
Date:  Mon, Nov 27  2000 12:00 am 

Utter crap, sir!! When I order a steak, I ask the cook to  knock off the 
horns, wipe its ass, run it by the grill, and put it on a  plate!!! 

_MountainGetaway.com_ (http://www.mountaingetaway.com/)  
When you’re  on vacation, Fine Dining means: 
c.) Knock off the horns, slap it  on the rump and send it in steakhouse 

_Hollywood  Cowboy_ 
...and when you’re hungry, what happens to the bull? 
Knock  off the horns, wipe his ass, slap him on a plate and put him in from 
of me…  

_Credit  Boards: Tell me the truth_ 
That’s how my dad likes his steak. He  typically says “Just knock off the 
horns and slap it on a plate for me.” My mom  is the extreme opposite. She says 
to pretty much BURN it to make sure it’s  well-done 

_ClutchFans -  Steak_ 
10-11-2004, 12:01 AM 
As far as steak goes it’s  gotta be rare (knock off its horns, wipe it’s ass 
and bring it to me, kinda  rare), slightly seasoned, with no sauces. 

09-29-2004, 11:26 AM 
Or, as I tell waiters, “knock  off its horns, wipe its butt, and bring it to 
the table”.  


The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org

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