"Knock off its horns and wipe its ass" (Texan ordering steak "rare")

Wilson Gray hwgray at GMAIL.COM
Sun Dec 31 06:36:32 UTC 2006 

There's one from the '40's - Reader's Digest? - WRT the opposite
attitude. Texan in NYC complaining about rare steak:

In Texas, we bulldog steers that are hurt worse than this!

-Wilson


On 12/31/06, Bapopik at aol.com <Bapopik at aol.com> wrote:
> ---------------------- Information from the mail header -----------------------
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Bapopik at AOL.COM
> Subject:      "Knock off its horns and wipe its ass" (Texan ordering steak
>               "rare")
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> I just finished a bunch of neat entries. I have a little earlier on "You  ca=
> n=20
> always tell an (X) man, but you can't tell him much." The Yale Book of =20
> Quotations left out some great Dan Rather-isms.
> ...
> ...
> _http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/texas/entry/you_can_always_tell_a_texan=
> _b
> ut_you_cant_tell_him_much/_=20
> (http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/texas/entry/you_can_always_tell_a_texan=
> _but_you_cant_tell_him_much/)=20
> _http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/texas/entry/hotter_than_a_laredo_parkin=
> g_
> lot_dan_rather_election_night_2000/_=20
> (http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/texas/entry/hotter_than_a_laredo_parkin=
> g_lot_dan_rather_election_night_2000/)=20
> _http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/texas/entry/too_much_aint_enough_lone_s=
> ta
> r_cafe_nyc_darrell_royal/_=20
> (http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/texas/entry/too_much_aint_enough_lone_s=
> tar_cafe_nyc_darrell_royal/)=20
> ...
> ...
> ...
> Does anyone know this "ordering steak very rare" phrase? It appears in at =20
> least three movies and in several joke collections, almost always with a Tex=
> as =20
> association.
> ...
> ...
> _http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/texas/entry/knock_off_its_horns_wipe_it=
> s_
> ass_and_throw_it_on_the_plate_texan_ordering_r/_=20
> (http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/texas/entry/knock_off_its_horns_wipe_it=
> s_ass_and_throw_it_on_the_plate
> _texan_ordering_r/)=20
> ...
> =20
> =E2=80=9CKnock off its horns, wipe its ass, and throw it on the plate=E2=80=
> =9D  (Texan=20
> ordering =E2=80=9Crare=E2=80=9D steak)
> =20
> "Knock off its horns, wipe its ass, and throw it on the plate=E2=80=9D is a=20=
> =20
> stereotypical order of =E2=80=9Crare=E2=80=9D steak by a Texan visiting a st=
> eakhouse. The line =20
> appeared in the Australian film Barry McKenzie Holds His Own (1974), the  fi=
> lm The=20
> Cowboy Way (1994), the film Cowboy Up (2000, released in  2001), and the=20
> television series 24 with Keifer Sutherland as Jack Bauer. =20
>
>
>
> _How  Would You Like That Cooked, Sir?[rec.humor.funny]_=20
> (http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/96q1/steak.html) =20
> The other day, a  friend of mine (from Texas) and I went out to a local=20
> steakhouse.  This is  the dialog that followed after I made my order.=20
>
> WAITRESS:  And for  you, sir?=20
> JOHN:  I=E2=80=99ll have the top sirloin.=20
> WAITRESS:  And how  would you like that cooked.=20
> JOHN:  Just whack off the horns, wipe its  ass, and throw it on the plate.=20
> WAITRESS:  Rare?=20
> JOHN:  Rare. =20
>
> _Jokebook  #1_ (http://www.textfiles.com/humor/JOKES/joke002.jok) =20
> ... And that kind of reminds me of one time that I was in a steak  house in=20
> Austin. Guy came in and sat at the table next to us and ordered a  sirloin.=20=
> The=20
> waitress asked him how he wanted it and he answered, =E2=80=9CKnock off its=20=
>  horns,=20
> wipe its a** and walk it through the kitchen.=E2=80=9D=20
>
> _Myspace.com_ (http://profile.
> myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=3Duser.viewprofile&friendID=3D35307650)  =20
> =E2=80=9CKnock off its horns and wipe its ass...I=E2=80=99m HONGRY!=E2=80=
> =9D=20
> Male=20
> 66 years  old=20
> AUSTIN, TEXAS=20
> United States=20
> Last Login: 12/19/2006=20
>
> _Internet Movie Database_ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071196/quotes)  =20
> Memorable Quotes from=20
> Barry McKenzie Holds His Own (1974) =20
> Hugo Cretin: How would you like your steak, sir?=20
> Barry McKenzie: Just  knock off its horns, wipe its arse and bung it on a=20
> plate.=20
>
> _The Movie Quotes  Site_=20
> (http://www.moviequotes.com/fullquote.cgi?qnum=3D61160) =20
> QUOTE Just knock off its horns, wipe its nasty ole ass, and chuck  it right=20
> down on the plate=20
> MOVIE TITLE Cowboy Way, The - 1994=20
>
> _Deseret  Morning News_=20
> (http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4188/is_20060613/ai_n16478528)=20=
> =20
> Small plates are not =E2=80=98in=E2=80=99 for eaters=20
> Deseret News (Salt  Lake City), Jun 13, 2006 by Doug Robinson Deseret Mornin=
> g=20
> News=20
> (...) =20
> Eaters aren=E2=80=99t real particular. Our attitude about meat, for instance=
> , was =20
> pretty much summed up by the Woody Harrelson character in the movie =E2=80=
> =9CCowboy Up.=E2=80=9D
>   When a waiter in a fancy restaurant asks him how he wants his steak cooked=
> ,=20
>  Harrelson replies, =E2=80=9CJust knock off the horns and plop her down on m=
> y plate!=E2=80=9D
>  =20
>
> _Jack  Bauer Fun Facts!_=20
> (http://www.tvshowboards.com/24/moderator/JackFacts.html) =20
> When asked at a restaurant how he likes his steak, Jack  Bauer replies, =E2=
> =80=9CJust=20
> knock off the horns and wipe its ass.=E2=80=9D=20
>
> _Google  Groups: alt.california_=20
> (http://groups.google.com/group/alt.california/browse_thread/thread/857f06be=
> 21041d91/7867625103871c7e?lnk=3Dst&q=3Drare+and+ste
> ak+and+"off+the+horns"+and+plate&rnum=3D2&hl=3Den#7867625103871c7e) =20
> From:  Aviator=20
> Date:  Mon, Nov 27  2000 12:00 am=20
>
> Utter crap, sir!! When I order a steak, I ask the cook to  knock off the=20
> horns, wipe its ass, run it by the grill, and put it on a  plate!!!=20
>
> _MountainGetaway.com_ (http://www.mountaingetaway.com/) =20
> When you=E2=80=99re  on vacation, Fine Dining means:=20
> (...)=20
> c.) Knock off the horns, slap it  on the rump and send it in steakhouse=20
>
> _Hollywood  Cowboy_=20
> (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=3Duser.viewprofile&friendID=
> =3D40455233) =20
> ...and when you=E2=80=99re hungry, what happens to the bull?=20
> Knock  off the horns, wipe his ass, slap him on a plate and put him in from=20
> of me=E2=80=A6 =20
>
> _Credit  Boards: Tell me the truth_=20
> (http://creditboards.com/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t202196.html) =20
> That=E2=80=99s how my dad likes his steak. He  typically says =E2=80=9CJust=20=
> knock off the=20
> horns and slap it on a plate for me.=E2=80=9D My mom  is the extreme opposit=
> e. She says=20
> to pretty much BURN it to make sure it=E2=80=99s  well-done=20
>
> _ClutchFans -  Steak_=20
> (http://bbs.clutchfans.net/archive/index.php/t-84597.html) =20
> raw10628=20
> 10-11-2004, 12:01 AM=20
> As far as steak goes it=E2=80=99s  gotta be rare (knock off its horns, wipe=20=
> it=E2=80=99s ass=20
> and bring it to me, kinda  rare), slightly seasoned, with no sauces.=20
>
> _MartialTalk.com_=20
> (http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-17715.html)  =20
> OUMoose=20
> 09-29-2004, 11:26 AM=20
> (...)=20
> Or, as I tell waiters, =E2=80=9Cknock  off its horns, wipe its butt, and bri=
> ng it to=20
> the table=E2=80=9D. =20
>
> =20
> =20
>
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> The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org
>


--
All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"---a strange complaint to
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-----
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