"Kicking footballs"

[Douglas G. Wilson]

>I've always considered the phrase "up your ass kicking footballs" (as in
>if you ask someone where the phone is, they might say "If it was up your
>ass kicking footballs you'd know it/know where it is") to be fairly
>common. But imagine my horror when I look in The Google and only find two
>hits (one with "kicking" and one with "kickin"). Am I wrong? Is this not a
>common phrase? I've heard it quite a few times here in Wisconsin (mainly
>central WI), but now I'm wondering if I haven't heard it from the same
>three people all my life. My world really isn't that small, is it?

I've never heard it or anything much like it. I lived in Madison WI area
for 8 years. Maybe I didn't get out enough. What is the meaning of the
expression?

-- Doug Wilson


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