"Gray Rape" (from NY Times)

[Sarah Lang]

I have always understood "date-rape" to be rape committed by someone
who was, however briefly, known to the victim. So, from my
understanding, if the victim met someone at a bar and had one drink
with him or her that was dosed: date-rape, or if you like,
acquaintance rape (I would use the former in colloquial speech). If
that victim were dosed by someone she or he never actual met or spoke
to, I would call that just plain, old-fashioned rape, even if a "date-
rape" drunk was used.

Grey-rape, whether a ridiculous or harmful term or not, seems to be
referring to the "we were both really drunk, I didn't want to before
but . . . wait, what happened?" sort of territory. If only one party
were intoxicated and therefore unable to consent: easy (well easier).
But if both are it's . . . kinda grey as neither are legally able to
give consent.

(I think I'll end there, as rape is simply a far, far too complex
word, historically, legally, rhetorically, etc. to really do it and
its meanings or usages justice.)

S.

On Oct 16, 2007, at 8:20 AM, Charles Doyle wrote:

> ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> -----------------------
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Charles Doyle <cdoyle at UGA.EDU>
> Subject:      Re: "Gray Rape" (from NY Times)
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---------
>
> A feature article on date rape in the student newspaper a few days
> ago discussed, as a kind of DATE RAPE, the surreptitious drugging
> and abducting of a stranger or slight acquaintance--for instance,
> at a bar or a party. Is that a common use or understanding of the
> term? Doesn't a date rape have to involve a "date"--therefore,
> possibly, a "grayer" area of conduct?
>
> Maybe there has been a sort of cognitive back-formation of the
> informal term "date-rape drug": any rape involving the use of such
> a drug becomes a date rape.
>
> --Charlie
> ____________________________________________________________
>
> ---- Original message ----
>> Date: Tue, 16 Oct 2007 00:11:00 -0400
>> From: Barry Popik <bapopik at GMAIL.COM>
>> Subject: "Gray Rape" (from NY Times)
>> To: ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU
>
>> ...
>> http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/15/gray-rape-a-new-form-
>> of-date-rape/
>> October 15, 2007,  4:00 pm
>> 'Gray Rape': A New Form of Date Rape?
>> By Sewell Chan
>>
>> When Robert D. Laurino, chief assistant prosecutor for Essex
>> County in New Jersey, told a friend that he was speaking on a
>> panel about the topic of "gray rape," the friend was confused.
>> "Are you talking about
>> the rape of the elderly?" the friend asked.
>>
>>
>> An article in the September issue of Cosmopolitan magazine, "A New
>> Kind of Date Rape," defined "gray rape" as "sex that falls
>> somewhere between consent and denial and is even more confusing
>> than date rape because often both parties are unsure of who wanted
>> what."
>>
>> A standing-room-only audience packed the lobby of the Gerald W.
>> Lynch Theater at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice this
>> morning to listen to a vigorous panel discussion on the idea of
>> "gray rape" — and whether the term is even meaningful, helpful or
>> harmful. Not too many events in the intellectual life of New York
>> City bring together Jeremy Travis, the legal expert and former
>> city police official who is the president of John Jay, and Kate
>> White, editor in chief ofCosmopolitan, which sponsored the event.
>>
>> ------------------------------------------------------------
>> The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org
>
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