"Gray Rape" (from NY Times)

[Wilson Gray]

I agree with you. If one party is drugged so that she is not only
unable to give consent, but is also completely unaware of even being
in a situation that normally requires consent, how can that be
anything but plain,old rape, whether the people involved be siblings
or total strangers?

"Grey rape" sounds more like a situation in which a girl might say,
"Iwas too drunk to know what he was doing to me" and the guy says, "I
don't remember her saying no, but I was pretty drunk, myself." But
this sort of thing is not made new by giving it a new name.

-Wilson

On 10/16/07, Sarah Lang <slang at uchicago.edu> wrote:
> ---------------------- Information from the mail header -----------------------
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Sarah Lang <slang at UCHICAGO.EDU>
> Subject:      Re: "Gray Rape" (from NY Times)
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> I have always understood "date-rape" to be rape committed by someone
> who was, however briefly, known to the victim. So, from my
> understanding, if the victim met someone at a bar and had one drink
> with him or her that was dosed: date-rape, or if you like,
> acquaintance rape (I would use the former in colloquial speech). If
> that victim were dosed by someone she or he never actual met or spoke
> to, I would call that just plain, old-fashioned rape, even if a "date-
> rape" drunk was used.
>
> Grey-rape, whether a ridiculous or harmful term or not, seems to be
> referring to the "we were both really drunk, I didn't want to before
> but . . . wait, what happened?" sort of territory. If only one party
> were intoxicated and therefore unable to consent: easy (well easier).
> But if both are it's . . . kinda grey as neither are legally able to
> give consent.
>
> (I think I'll end there, as rape is simply a far, far too complex
> word, historically, legally, rhetorically, etc. to really do it and
> its meanings or usages justice.)
>
> S.
>
> On Oct 16, 2007, at 8:20 AM, Charles Doyle wrote:
>
> > ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> > -----------------------
> > Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> > Poster:       Charles Doyle <cdoyle at UGA.EDU>
> > Subject:      Re: "Gray Rape" (from NY Times)
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> > ---------
> >
> > A feature article on date rape in the student newspaper a few days
> > ago discussed, as a kind of DATE RAPE, the surreptitious drugging
> > and abducting of a stranger or slight acquaintance--for instance,
> > at a bar or a party. Is that a common use or understanding of the
> > term? Doesn't a date rape have to involve a "date"--therefore,
> > possibly, a "grayer" area of conduct?
> >
> > Maybe there has been a sort of cognitive back-formation of the
> > informal term "date-rape drug": any rape involving the use of such
> > a drug becomes a date rape.
> >
> > --Charlie
> > ____________________________________________________________
> >
> > ---- Original message ----
> >> Date: Tue, 16 Oct 2007 00:11:00 -0400
> >> From: Barry Popik <bapopik at GMAIL.COM>
> >> Subject: "Gray Rape" (from NY Times)
> >> To: ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU
> >
> >> ...
> >> http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/15/gray-rape-a-new-form-
> >> of-date-rape/
> >> October 15, 2007,  4:00 pm
> >> 'Gray Rape': A New Form of Date Rape?
> >> By Sewell Chan
> >>
> >> When Robert D. Laurino, chief assistant prosecutor for Essex
> >> County in New Jersey, told a friend that he was speaking on a
> >> panel about the topic of "gray rape," the friend was confused.
> >> "Are you talking about
> >> the rape of the elderly?" the friend asked.
> >>
> >>
> >> An article in the September issue of Cosmopolitan magazine, "A New
> >> Kind of Date Rape," defined "gray rape" as "sex that falls
> >> somewhere between consent and denial and is even more confusing
> >> than date rape because often both parties are unsure of who wanted
> >> what."
> >>
> >> A standing-room-only audience packed the lobby of the Gerald W.
> >> Lynch Theater at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice this
> >> morning to listen to a vigorous panel discussion on the idea of
> >> "gray rape" — and whether the term is even meaningful, helpful or
> >> harmful. Not too many events in the intellectual life of New York
> >> City bring together Jeremy Travis, the legal expert and former
> >> city police official who is the president of John Jay, and Kate
> >> White, editor in chief ofCosmopolitan, which sponsored the event.
> >>
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> >
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