Early texting?

[Joel S. Berson]

While looking for "P's and Q's", I came across the following early
example of texting.  I doubt not that there are other examples,
perhaps back to Roman times; but I was amused.  I've inserted an *
where I cannot decode the message or am uncertain.

Earliest in Olio [NY, NY], published as The Olio; Date: 05-22-1813;
Volume: I; Issue: 17; Page: 136, but I take it from the
better-printed American Advocate [Hallowell, Maine]; Date:
12-17-1814; Volume: V; Issue: 48; Page: [4]:

Ingenious Conceit.

COME listen to my DT, all those that lovers B;
Attune your hearts to PT, and read my LEG.
A bachelor of AT, my brains are racked with KR;
Of love you'll find the data, if you give serious ER.
When twenty summers I had CN, with Kate in love I fell;
A CT wench with black I's keen my EZ heart did sell.
For ten long years I courted her, 'twas KT DR & DRE;
And when she frown'd my heart it bump'd, my eyes grew wet and TRE.
I never once had kiss'd the maid, she was so sly and coy;
Nor never grasped her RM nor waist, to snatch the blissful joy.
One day, without much KR or form, my *ID's fill'd with love,
I slipped into her room and saw what made *H passion move.
A favorite beau in *TP dress was kissing her quite free;
To love her after this, says I, a great fool I must B.
To XMN then her love I tried, and found it all a whim;
To hate her then, I tried my best, and not to NV him.
Her FIG in paper cut, I tore and threw away,
Resolv'd some way to find a QR, at least make one SA.
Of absence then the FIKC I tried, but all in vain;
My MT head, and too full heart, felt hard the aching pain.
My throbbing heart, would not be EZ, to see her scoff and GR;
Till DZ I did get myself with drinking punch & BR.
 From love's fever and *AQfortie free, since I've ever BN,
Nor am I plagu'd with curs'd relapse, for which I sing TDM.
Should NE one wish love to shun, 'tis plain as ABC,
That he must mind his Ps and Qs, or he's fix'd to a T.
Then live a jolly bachelor, let Cupid sing to thee,
"YYs UR, YYs UR, I C U R YYs for me."

* ID's = ideas?
*H = each?
*TP = ?
*AQfortie = ?

Joel

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