No subject

[Lisa Galvin]

I have one: Mensas - that feeling for a few days each month that one is more intelligent than the general population


                                                   Lisa


 

> Date: Thu, 3 Feb 2011 11:18:50 -0500
> From: RonButters at AOL.COM
> To: ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU
> 
> ---------------------- Information from the mail header -----------------------
> Sender: American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster: Ronald Butters <RonButters at AOL.COM>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Did this list already get posted here? If so, my apologies. I found it =
> delightful.
> 
> > The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to =
> take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or =
> changing one letter, and supply a new definition. =20
> >=20
> > Here are the winners: =20
> > =20
> > 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the =
> subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.=20
> > =20
> > 2 Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.=20
> > =20
> > 3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until =
> you realize it was your money to start with.=20
> > =20
> > 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.=20
> > =20
> > 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops =
> bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows =
> little sign of breaking down in the near future. =20
> > =20
> > 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of =
> getting laid. =20
> > =20
> > 7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. =20
> > =20
> > 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the =
> person who doesn't get it.=20
> > =20
> > 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running =
> late.=20
> > =20
> > 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)=20=
> 
> > =20
> > 11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these =
> really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's =
> like, a serious bummer. =20
> > =20
> > 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day =
> consuming only things that are good for you.=20
> > =20
> > 13. Glibido : All talk and no action. =20
> > =20
> > 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when =
> they come at you rapidly. =20
> > =20
> > 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after =
> you've accidentally walked through a spider web.=20
> > =20
> > 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into =
> your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.=20
> > =20
> > 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in =
> the fruit you're eating.
> > =20
> > =20
> > The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its =
> yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings =
> for common words.=20
> > =20
> > And the winners are:=20
> >=20
> > 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. =20
> > =20
> > 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has =
> gained. =20
> > =20
> > 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.=20
> > =20
> > 4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.=20
> > =20
> > 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent. =20
> > =20
> > 6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only =
> a nightgown.=20
> > =20
> > 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.=20
> > =20
> > 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.=20
> > =20
> > 9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been =
> run over by a steamroller.=20
> > =20
> > 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.=20
> > =20
> > 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam. =20
> > =20
> > 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by =
> proctologists. =20
> > =20
> > 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.=20
> >=20
> > 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with =
> Yiddishisms. =20
> > =20
> > 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies =
> up onto the roof and gets stuck there.=20
> > =20
> > 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by =
> Jewish men.
> 
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