Quote: You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on

[Jonathan Lighter]

As I read it on a T-shirt (I believe) around 1990:

"An Irishman isn't drunk if he can still hang onto the grass without
falling off the earth."

JL

On Wed, Mar 14, 2012 at 2:49 PM, Garson O'Toole
<adsgarsonotoole at gmail.com>wrote:

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> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Garson O'Toole <adsgarsonotoole at GMAIL.COM>
> Subject:      Quote: You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without
>              holding on
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Quotation maven Nigel Rees posted the following query in February:
>
> Q4346  Where did the saying "you’re not drunk if you can lie on the
> floor without holding on" originate - i.e. before any association with
> Dean Martin?
>
> http://www1c.btwebworld.com/quote-unquote/p0000112.htm
>
> In 1905 a version of the joke was printed in a Connecticut newspaper.
> No attribution was given, and the quip was described as an "old rule".
> An acknowledgment to the "New York World" indicated that the joke was
> published somewhat earlier in that periodical. The variant phrasing
> "never drunk" was used instead of "not drunk".
>
> Cite: 1905 September 15, Meriden Daily Journal, When Is A Man Drunk?
> [Acknowledgment: New York World], Page 6, Column 3, Meriden,
> Connecticut. (Google News Archive)
> [Begin excerpt]
> The old rule that a man is never drunk if he can lie on the sidewalk
> without holding on is not without merit, and always deserves careful
> judicial consideration. For one thing, it is conclusive and leaves no
> opportunity for dispute.
> [End excerpt]
>
> In 1963 an article headlined "Title of Clown King is Secure" with the
> subtitle "Joe E. Lewis Provides Fun at Blue Room" described a recent
> night club performance by the comedian Joe E. Lewis during which he
> employed a version of the gag.
>
> Cite: 1963 November 22, Times-Picayune, Title of Clown King is Secure
> by Vincent Randazzo, Section 4, Page 11, Column 1, [GNA Page 70], New
> Orleans, Louisiana. (GenealogyBank)
> [Begin excerpt]
> Other little vignettes we liked were: "I went on a diet for two weeks
> and lost 14 days." "You are never drunk if you can lie on the floor
> without holding on."
> [End excerpt]
>
> In 1975 the joke was printed in an interview article with Dean Martin.
> (This information is based on a match in the Google News Archive. I
> have not verified it in the Baltimore Sun ProQuest database at this
> time.)
>
> Cite: 1975 August 10, Baltimore Sun, Sipping and Rambling with Martin,
> Start Page: T21, Baltimore, Maryland. (ProQuest; Not yet verified)
> [Begin excerpt]
> On booze: "I drink because I know when to stop. I say you're not drunk
> if you can lay on the floor and not hang on.
> [End excerpt]
>
> In 1978 Dean Martin used the gag, but he credited it to Joe E. Lewis.
>
> Cite: 1978 July 4, Esquire, Volume 90, Number 01, Dean Martin's
> Closest Friend is Frank Sinatra by Jean Vallely, Start Page 61, Quote
> Page 70, Column 1, Esquire Publishing, New York. (Verified on
> microfilm)
> [Begin excerpt]
> "My great friend and drinking buddy Joe E. Lewis says you're not drunk
> if you can lie on the floor without holding on." "Don't believe it
> when they say carrots are good for your eyes. I stuck one in mine last
> night and it hurt.
> [End excerpt]
>
> Garson
>
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>



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