Toad pinger

[Joel S. Berson]

I have now deduced the explanation for the mysterious disappearance
of Malaysia Air 370.  Returning to the then recently-published
gazetteer once consulted by Sherlock Holmes to remind him about the
cannibalistic natives of the Andaman Islands, which MA370 was earlier
thought to have flown near, I have refreshed my own memory.

Flying very low to avoid radar detection, MA370 was swallowed up by
the extremely long-tongued, rarely-spotted pelagic giant toad of the
cold, nutrient-rich but little-explored, south Indian Ocean, reports
of whose encounters with U.S. military aircraft have long been
suppressed by the U.S. Air Force.  To aid in locating it, the
Department of Defense has now authorized public use of that
previously top-secret and rarely-used device, the Giant Toad Pinger Locator.

(Movie rights reserved.)

Joel

At 4/4/2014 11:02 PM, W Brewer wrote:

>Toad Pinger Locater (TPL), aka Towed Pinger Locator: Wolf Blitzer in THE
>SITUATION ROOM, aired 25 March 2014, 17:00 ET. <<THIS IS A RUSH
>TRANSCRIPT.>>
><http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1403/25/sitroom.01.html>
>Random cites:
><<Pinger Locaters to Be Used if Wreckage Found; Mystery of Flight 370>>
>BRIAN TODD, CNN CORRESPONDENT: <<(voice-over): The U.S. Navy has only two
>of these high-tech listening devices, and one of them is now heading to the
>Indian Ocean to help find the missing plane. It's called a towed pinger
>locater.>>
>TODD: <<CNN had a rare look inside the Maryland facility of Phoenix
>International, where the toad pinger locator is made. This device helped
>recover wreckage from Air France Flight 447 in the Atlantic. Project
>manager Bill Nelson says once plane debris is found, the pinger locater,
>with a fin on top, is towed slowly through the area.>>
>Commander Williams MARKS: <<I think the big news for the U.S. Navy and its
>support, we're moving in two very advanced pieces of equipment. One is
>called a TPL, or a Toad Pinger Locator. Another is called a blue fin.>>
>BLITZER: <<Has that Toad Pinger locator arrived yet in Perth?>>
>
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>The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org

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The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org