[Ads-l] Quote: If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go (attributed to Mark Twain)

Tue Jan 14 08:54:26 UTC 2025

Excellent precursor citation. Peter. The same humorous anecdote
appeared a bit earlier in The New York Times:

[ref] 1855 December 14, The New York Times, New York City: Philosophy
In Bib and Tucker, Quote Page 8, Column 1, New York, New York.
(Newspapers_com) link [/ref]

https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-new-york-times-dolls/163008940/

[Begin excerpt]
Young Miss America, a baby yet of five years, sat playing with her
doll, while her clerical father with a dull razor tore at his beard.
"Pa," asked the innocent, "do dolls go to heaven when they get all
smashed to pieces?"
"No, dear; dolls haven't souls," answered the father.
"Well, then I don't want to die."
"Why not?"
"Why," answered she, "I s'pose I should have to go to heaven if I
died, and I don’t want to go anywhere that they don’t have dolls."
It would have been better to let the dolls in.
[End excerpt]

I have now updated the article and added you to the acknowledgement
section. Changes should be visible within 24 hours.

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2025/01/12/smoke-heaven/

[Begin acknowledgement]
Thanks to Peter Morris who found the 1855 anecdote about dolls and the
1920 citation in the psychical research journal.
End acknowledgement]

Garson

On Mon, Jan 13, 2025 at 4:07 PM mr_peter_morris at outlook.com
<mr_peter_morris at outlook.com> wrote:
>
> https://www.google.co.uk/books/edition/Portland_Transcript/M1iCsWiMbhIC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=smoking+%22heaven%22+%22don%27t+want+to+go%22&pg=PA312&printsec=frontcover
>
> Portland Transcript
> Jan 5 1856
>
> "Pa" asked the innocent, do dolls go to heaven when the get all smashed
> to
> pieces"  "No, dear, dolls don't have souls." replied her father.  "Well,
> then, I
> don't want to die." "Why not?" "Why" answered she "I s'pose I should
> have to
> go to heaven if I died, and I don't want to go anywhere that they don't
> have dolls."
>
>
> ------ Original Message ------
> From "ADSGarson O'Toole" <adsgarsonotoole at GMAIL.COM>
> To ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU
> Date 13/01/2025 17:59:21
> Subject Re: Quote: If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go
> (attributed to Mark Twain)
>
> >Thank you for taking the time to search and share your discovery,
> >Peter. Google Books does have fully readable scans for the intriguing
> >citation you discovered.
> >
> >Mark Twain died in 1910. During subsequent years psychical researchers
> >attempted to contact Twain in the spirit realm. Apparently, in 1917
> >Mrs. Chenoweth used the automatic writing technique to communicate
> >with Twain.
> >
> >For non-believers, Mrs. Chenoweth simply used her own imagination to
> >generate a fantasy version of Twain. A report was published in 1920.
> >
> >Year: 1920
> >Journal: Proceedings of the American Society for Psychical Research
> >Volume 14
> >Article: Cross Reference Experiments for Mark Twain
> >Author: James H. Hyslop Ph.D.
> >Note: Spirit Communication with Mark Twain by Mrs. Chenoweth via
> >Automatic Writing
> >Date: July 3, 1917
> >Start Page 1, Quote Page 187
> >Publisher: The American Society for Psychical Research, New York
> >Database: Google Books Full View
> >
> >https://books.google.com/books?id=EIDNAAAAMAAJ&q=%22smoking+in%22#v=snippet&
> >
> >[Begin excerpt]
> >But if there is no smoking in the far realm I guess I’m done for, for
> >I still think tenderly [N.R.] tenderly and longingly about my black
> >cigar [N.R.] cigar.
> >[End excerpt]
> >
> >Garson
> >
> >On Mon, Jan 13, 2025 at 11:36 AM mr_peter_morris at outlook.com
> ><mr_peter_morris at outlook.com> wrote:
> >>
> >>https://www.google.co.uk/books/edition/Proceedings_of_the_American_Society_for/gnuVqjctdwgC?hl=en&gbpv=1&bsq=%22mark+twain%22+%22no+smoking%22+heaven&dq=%22mark+twain%22+%22no+smoking%22+heaven&printsec=frontcover
> >>
> >>  Proceedings of the American Society for Psychical Research
> >>  Cross-reference experiments for Mark Twain
> >>  Possibly 1922, or earlier, usual caveats apply
> >>
> >>
> >>  But if there is no smoking in the far realm I guess I'm done for
> >>  for I still think tenderly [N.R.] tenderly and longingly about my
> >>  black cigar [N. R.] cigar.
> >>
> >>
> >>  Maybe quoting an earlier work. I can't be sure from the Google fragments
> >>  if it's Twain speaking, but worth investigating.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>  ------ Original Message ------
> >>  From "ADSGarson O'Toole" <adsgarsonotoole at GMAIL.COM<mailto:adsgarsonotoole at GMAIL.COM>>
> >>  To ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU<mailto:ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> >>  Date 12/01/2025 22:44:03
> >>  Subject Quote: If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go (attributed to Mark Twain)
> >>
> >>  The remark in the subject line is often attributed to Mark Twain, but
> >>  I have not yet found a solid citation.
> >>
> >>  Recently, Kevin Mac Donnell of Mac Donnell Rare Books in Austin, Texas
> >>  shared with me an intriguing citation for a closely related remark. In
> >>  April 1929 James Ross Clemens who was Twain's cousin published "Some
> >>  Reminiscences of Mark Twain" in the "Overland Monthly" of San
> >>  Francisco, California:
> >>
> >>  [Begin excerpt]
> >>  . . . Mark was in much the same frame of mind as regards cigars. "If
> >>  there is smoking in Heaven I want to go there," he would fervidly
> >>  exclaim.
> >>  [End excerpt]
> >>
> >>  Also, Mark Twain's Notebook (1935) contains the following remark which
> >>  fits the same template:
> >>
> >>  [Begin excerpt]
> >>  If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there.
> >>  [End excerpt]
> >>
> >>  Here is a link to the Quote Investigator article:
> >>https://quoteinvestigator.com/2025/01/12/smoke-heaven/
> >>
> >>  Feedback welcome
> >>  Garson O'Toole
> >>
> >>  ------------------------------------------------------------
> >>  The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org
> >>
> >>  ------------------------------------------------------------
> >>  The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org
> >
> >------------------------------------------------------------
> >The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org

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