blond(e) jokes

[Monica Macaulay]

My sister sent me these.  I know one of you is collecting blond(e) jokes,
and I thought this might be of interest.  Forgive me if it's already been
circulated.  Note especially the tenth one...

- Monica


>> It's "Let's pick on men instead of blondes" time
>> > >
>> > > Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
>> > > A. Trustworthy.
>> > >
>> > > Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
>> and
>> > calling your name?
>> > > A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
>> > >
>> > > Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
>> > > A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
>> > >
>> > > Q. Why do men like smart women?
>> > > A. Opposites attract.
>> > >
>> > > Q. How do men exercise on the beach?
>> > > A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini
>> > >
>> > > Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>> > > A. ONE .........He just holds it up there and waits for the world to
>>
>> > revolve  around him.
>> > >
>> > > Q. What did God say after creating man?
>> > > A. I can do so much better.
>> > >
>> > > Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
>> > > A. Put the remote control between his toes.
>> > >
>> > > Q. What's the smartest thing a man can say?
>> > > A. "My wife says..."
>> > >
>> > > Q. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
>> > > A. So men can understand them.
>> > >
>> > > Q. Why did God create man before woman?
>> > > A. Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before
>> creating
>> > your masterpiece.
>> > >
>> > > Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
>> > > A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
>> > >
>> > > Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
>> > > A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
>> > >
>> > > Q. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
>> > > A. Because not one will stop and ask for directions.....