WITH ALL CONFIDENTIALITY WHATSOEVER

[Harriet J Ottenheimer]

Hi all. Special thanks to Celso for creating (I assume) and sending this.
It's a good spoof.

I began researching these letters last year, tracing them, and analyzing the
discourse. I collected over 150 of them in one six month period.  I
presented a paper on it all (with co-author Davi Ottenheimer) focusing on
language, ethnicity, stereotypes, and computer security at the National
Association for Ethnic Studies conference last spring.  We'll probably do
another presentation or two and then work it up for publication.

Cheers,

Harriet Ottenheimer
Kansas State University

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Celso Alvarez Cáccamo" <lxalvarz at udc.es>
To: "Lista LINGANTH" <linganth at cc.rochester.edu>
Sent: Wednesday, September 17, 2003 12:49 PM
Subject: WITH ALL CONFIDENTIALITY WHATSOEVER


> Dear Sir/Lady,
>
> With All Confidentiality.  Please exculp my interference
> whatsoever.  Please allow me to intersticelly request a slight help from
> your Personhood.  I am Barcanitagu Aynson Elleiteirides, deceased son of
> Princess Valavertu of the extinct Neutral Kingdom of Rendom.  My deceased
> mother, Rumfulineita Rapossideishon Ru, was seriously killed by a
> poisonously animalistic spider reintegrated upon her garments by General
> Nectari Irrigation, half-cousin of the Ambassador to the Lands of Parabit,
> King of Monetti and ex-Deputy-in-Chief to the Central Traditionalist
> Deposit of Lubland, territory occupied by Aru Rak, son and nephew of
Yumina
> Let, deceased daughter of the Maximum Representative of the Diamond Ring
in
> Ruhad's Colonies of the West, as you well shall know.
>
> I am writing to You on behalf of the Cohort of the So Many Lost Souls,
> myself included, who have felt enormously Treasoned by ex-General
> Ratattouille Mehini's glorious misdeed when inanously assaulting the
Palace
> of Billaki on August 23, 1916-1999. In that infamous, semi-ignoredly
> worrisome, war-like, terrible, bloodisome, preoccupating incident, as you
> well shall know, my handsomest half-son-in-law Reput, my dearest
> ex-daughter Fassa, my beloved cousins John and Mary, and myself, were
> ludicrously assassinated while attempting to extremishly hide from
enemies'
> raptation my People's enigmatic Treasure of The Paramount Stone,
> estimatively undervalued at 360,000 billion US Dollars
> (--Three-Hundred-Sixty-Thousand-Billion U.S. American Dollars--) under a
> pheromonous bonsai oak tree preciously inherited from my father Pepito's
> incursions into the mountainous Jurisdiction of Alosk, which was and
indeed
> truely was and has indeed been truely indeed ruthlessly commanded by
> Reinator Lepidopter Dollophoid, ex-bastard son of Maximum Interpellator
> Sena Johnson, under whom gargantuan Tragedies have truely indeed assolated
> my Country on behalf of the Legion of former Deputy-in-Defense Gara Bet,
> late daughter-in-son of ex-criminalist Dictator Megalithium Bornat,
> half-parent-in-law of delerrict under-exiled Prime Minister Uvw Xyz, on
> behalf of whom I hereby depose this humble Inquisition.
>
> Please excuse me to urgently nuance that, upon to-day itself, a relentless
> half-army of seventeen million (17,000,000) semi-Personnel has been
> treachorously reducing our Country and its surrounding persemon grove to
> manifest Ruins.  That is why I hereby humbly convoke you to initiating
> Enterprise on my Behalf for a lucrative Recuperating Operation of Assets,
> R.O.A., on which you yourself on your behalf are at no risk whatsoever on
> my behalf of demolishing your financial interestization while engaging in
> magnificently aiding philantropical restoration from impending inanition
> into my own Bank Account, 2070-3112-69-4500011273, swift code AK23YIK,
> intercommission at no risk whatsoever 23 US dollar cents (Twenty-Three
> Cents of One U.S. Dollar Whatsoever) to your risk whatsoever.
>
> Should you fertilly accompany myself in repatriating my sufferous
country's
> expurgated assets from Bandits, Traitors and Maimers, would you please
give
> me a ring at 72 609 3112 (no collect whatosever) so that I mercifully
> Inquiry over literally all of your Financial Data and thorougly reimmerse
> myself into your bank accounts, real estate Possessions, Titles, Bonds,
> Yatchs and other minuscule material redundancies that you yourself so
> Generously shall indeed voluntarily donate per se to Myself?  Thank you,
> please be so kindly disposed, for which I commend you and praise on Behalf
> of my ex-deceased ex-half-daughter-in-semi-law Leila Morson,
> ex-Tertiary-Minister of Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
> Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, ex-ex-Imperatrix of Pf.
>
> Undersigned with All Certainty and Thankfullnesstionhood, hereafter I
Remain,
>
> Merlot PineNoir, Reprimanded Ex-Former-Son-In-Chief-In-Law of
> Formerly-Deposed Quarterly Trinity of Supreme Convenors of the Veritable
> Kingdomlike Republic of Tartamlandburgh.
>