Roundabout kin terms

[Alex Francois]

Re: Summary: number in personal pronounsDear all,

I'd like to add a few examples in this discussion of what we may call "roundabout" (or mediate) kin terms of address; that is, address phrases that are not based on the actual relationship between SPEAKER and ADDRESSEE  (e.g. I call you 'Mum' if you are my mother), but based on the relationship between ANOTHER PERSON and ADDRESSEE (e.g. I call my wife 'Mum' by implicit reference to the viewpoint of our children)

Calling my wife 'Mum' is something I regularly do too in French, with my child[ren?]'s mother, but this is normally restricted to those situations when our son is present, and/or my address to my wife has something of an empathy with his point of view (e.g. ??'Hey Mum, did you buy the newspaper?' sounds odd; but 'Hey Mum, won't you make a chocolate cake?' is fine).
In Japanese, this usage seems to be much more widespread, as married couples (with children) virtually use no other way to address each other than /Okaasan/ 'Mum' and /Otousan/ 'Dad'; this is apparently less bound to constraints of presence/empathy/saliency of the children (as compared with French), and is in fact just the norm. Calling each other using first names becomes less common as soon as a child is born.


This reminds me of a couple of facts noted in Vanuatu (Pacific, Austronesian languages), a country with many kin taboos related to name-calling. 

1) In the language of East Ambae, there seems to be no reference term for "my husband" other than a periphrasis /tama-n netu-gu/ [father-POSS child-1s] 'father of my children'; notice that the whole sequence /tamannetu/ can eventually be said to behave like a single root, because the possessor of the children (netu-gu = my kids) is also the possessor of the husband: 
tamannetu-gu = my kids'-father = my husband.
(The pattern is different for "my wife"). 

Also, in Ambae, if I am a woman and my brother is married, I cannot call his name any more, and must use a periphrasis
"X's husband" (with X = name of my sister-in-law), or
"Y's father" (with Y = name of my firstborn nephew).


2) The language of Mwotlap (Banks Is., about 200 km north of Ambae) behaves differently. In this language, there is no problem for a woman to call her brother's name; but it is conversely strictly forbidden, for a male or female, to call one's in-laws by their name (actually, it is even forbidden to pronounce any word that may sound like the name of one of my in-laws). Instead, several strategies are used, that resort to synonyms, periphrases, and so on.
Usually, if I want to call, say, my daughter-in-law, I just use the kin term /tawayig/ 'daughter-in-law'. But one day, as the women's house was a bit crowdy, passing by I heard an old woman trying to call one of her many daughters-in-law's attention, in vain. Her calls became more insisting, but as she knew she couldn't call the young woman by her name (which would have made things much easier, because the place was just full of virtual /tawayig/!), she finally resorted to a roundabout strategy, that is, use a periphrasis with the name of her own son = the young woman's husband. So she went /Tawayig mi Rowson!/ literally 'Hey, Daughter-in-Law with Rowson!'.  The strategy was successful, as Rowson's wife immediately emerged from the crowd and hurried to her respected mother-in-law. 


Alex.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alexandre François
  CNRS-LACITO
  7, rue Guy Môquet
  94801  Villejuif
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  tel.prof.  (0)1.49.58.37.48.
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http://lacito.vjf.cnrs.fr/personnel/francois.htm

  ----- Message d'origine ----- 
  De : Colin P Masica 
  À : LINGTYP at LISTSERV.LINGUISTLIST.ORG 
  Envoyé : mercredi 23 avril 2003 21:50
  Objet : Re: Summary: number in personal pronouns


  Dear Steven,

  You're right, of course. I originally wrote "working-class and rural" but that seemed a bit patronizing and I decided to simplify it...  (Is your family neither?) What is interesting is, I hear people addressing each other this way when no children are around (who are now adults and out of the house in any case). I wonder if it correlates in any way with "large" families? With level of education?

  While I'm at it, it should also be noted that in Hindi and other Indian languages, a woman who has had a son is thenceforth referred to and addressed (and honored?) as "X's mother".   A recognition, no doubt, that she has fulfilled her most important duty in life.  (I'm not sure if a daughter merits the same recognition. Let me do some checking...)

  Meanwhile, I'm sure everyone knows about the strict taboo (in Northern Hindu India, at any rate) on a married woman's speaking her husband's name. (He might drop dead or something if she did -- would certainly be gravely dishonored. Why?) There are various ways of getting around this, perhaps most commonly, just "Him" (honorific plural, of course). Also, "X's father" -- unless I am getting  that mixed up with colloquial American!

  What about Taiwan Chinese, Steven? (Both topics...)

  Colin 

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