Victory over Macintosh

Sun Apr 26 06:50:38 UTC 1998

Have fun!

Michael
(a happy Macuser)
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<title>MacPravda: Back Issue</title>
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src="title.jpg"><p>
MacPravda back issue...you are permitted to <a
href="index.html">read the current issue</a>.<p>
<font size=5>Users
Commanded to Think Different</font><br>
<font size=2>Central News Service,
Cupertino, People's Republic of Apple</font><br>
Chairman Jobs ushered in a
glorious new public morale campaign today, commanding users throughout the
Motherland to "think different." Specific instructions on exactly how to
think different are being promulgated from the Central Committee for
Marketing today as part of the 3rd Five-Year Plan to return Apple to
profitability. Readers are instructed to report to their Authorized Apple
Dealer to receive specific details on which Different Thought they have
been assigned.<p>

Chairman Jobs Marks One Month Anniversary
of Great Patriotic War Against Clone Imperialists 
Central News Service, Cupertino, People's Republic of
Apple 
Chairman Jobs today marked the one month anniversary of
Apple's spectacular defeat of the parasitic clones, who were intent on
invading the Motherland's sacred high-end profit margins. Chairman Jobs
remarked as followed:
"My friends, each of you today is a single cell in
the great body of the User Base. And today, that great body has purged
itself of parasites. We have triumphed over the unprincipled dissemination
of clones. The thugs and wreckers have been cast out. And the poisonous
weeds of disinformation have been consigned to the dustbin of history. Let
each and every user rejoice! For today we celebrate the first glorious
month of the Information Purification Directive! We have created, for the
first time in all history, a garden of pure Apple-branded ideology, where
each user may bloom secure from the pests of contradictory and confusing
truths. Our Unification of the Platform is a more powerful weapon than any
fleet or army on Earth. With one will. One resolve. One cause. Our enemies
shall sell themselves to death. And we will bury them in their own
confusion. We shall prevail!"

More Apple Employees Enjoy
Vacation Time 
Central News Service, Cupertino,
People's Republic of Apple 
The Central Committee has announced
today that more happy and hard-working Apple employees will enjoy
additional leisure time. It was announced that workers in the Advanced
Technology Group and Human Interface Group will begin an extended vacation
immediately. Upon hearing this news, Apple employee spontaneously broke
into song praising the wisdom of Chairman Jobs and promising to work harder
on the 5-year plan to Return to Profitability.

Happy
Users Wait for Glorious Products 
Central News
Service, Cupertino, People's Republic of Apple 
An outbreak of
goodwill has spread throughout the collective Apple User Community upon
hearing of the latest news on the popular Power Macintosh 9600/350. Workers
have been producing so many of these machines that warehouses are full and
demand has been satiated. Because of this, Chairman Jobs has decreed that
no more of these machines will be produced, and they have been removed from
the price list.

<a
href="mailto:cubsfan at cjnetworks.com"><i>cubsfan at cjnetworks.com</a><p>
<font
color=white>296</font>
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Michael Yadroff
Linguistics Department and Dept. of Slavic Languages and Literatures
Memorial Hall 322           Ballantine Hall 502
Indiana University
Bloomington, IN 47405
myadroff at indiana.edu
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