barrier to tenderness

Sat Dec 1 22:48:35 UTC 2012

Sorry, I messed up the last sentence of my message. What I meant is that neither British strictness nor Japanese leniency would work in Russian culture.

----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Irina Rodimtseva 
  To: SEELANGS at LISTSERV.UA.EDU 
  Sent: Saturday, December 01, 2012 14:09
  Subject: Re: [SEELANGS] barrier to tenderness

  I agree with Anne Marie's remark about warmth and care. 

  Just like any other aspect of official Soviet ideology, that of child rearing had a patchy impact on family life and on general attitude towards children. In most families (of relatives and friends) I knew growing up in the Soviet Union, children were treated warmly, with a lot of touching and kissing going around. Some families seemed more affectionate and boisterous, others seemed more reserved in their words and gestures, but this relative coldness was most likely determined by the personalities of parents rather than by any external restrictions. Even if parents subscribed to the belief that they should withdraw affection as punishment, that doesn't mean that they didn't show tenderness at other times, when the child was obedient, did well in school, performed the required chores, etc. Many parents also used spanking or placing a disobedient child "in the corner" to discipline them.

  In general I would say that Russian everyday culture allows a lot more physical contact than today's American culture, so physical displays of affection are permitted not only for members of immediate family but also for family friends and teachers. Somebody going to visit friends in their home would
  bring a small present or a treat (such as a bar of chocolate) for their children, maybe even hug and kiss them on arrival and at parting--depending on the closeness of the two families. 

  Children, in turn, would address adult family friends as tyotya and dyadya--a practice that seems to create some awkwardness nowadays for Russian-speaking young people, both those living in Russia and in America. The children of my friends are now in their 20-s, and they don't know how to address me: traditional Tyotya Ira sounds too stilted, but it's hard for them to switch to informal American ways and call me by my first name or use ty instead of vy.

  In the Soviet Union it was also OK for teachers and vospitately detskogo sada to touch and hug children in their care.  I've seen mere acquaintainces try to hug and kiss a child or give candy to him or her. I always felt very uneasy when strangers on a train would strike a conversation with my little daughter, touch her arm, offer her food, etc. This behavior would be considered rude, if not criminal in the United States, but there, it was I who would be seen as rude if I had confronted that person, so I used distraction and evasion to get my child away from the well-meaning babka or tyotka. Now that I think about it, attention to children of strangers was considered normal for women but not so much for men.

  In connection with the Soviet philosophy of child rearing, I would like to mention Korney Chukovsky's illuminating book Ot dvuh do pyati (1933) in which he describes the complete rejection of volshebnye skazki  in the early Soviet pedagogical science. Reading about fantastic creatures and magical objects was considered detrimental to Soviet children who were supposed to be brought up in the spirit of realism and reason. Chukovsky, of course, criticizes this approach. This book exists in English translation.

  In the 1960s-80s, many educated families were familiar with British "children must be seen but not heard" philosophy. In general, parents in the Soviet Union liked to discuss pedagogical practices of other cultures, even if the evidence was anecdotal. For example, it was considered common knowledge that in Japan until the age of 4, children are allowed to do anything and are never punished. When children turn 4, parents introduce and mercilessly enforce strict rules and penalties for breaking them. I have no idea if this notion has even the tiniest grain of truth, but I do remember many conversations about it and the inevitable conclusion of that neither British strictness nor Japanese leniency were unapplicable to Russian culture.

  ----- Original Message ----- 
    From: anne marie devlin 
    To: SEELANGS at LISTSERV.UA.EDU 
    Sent: Saturday, December 01, 2012 06:23
    Subject: Re: [SEELANGS] barrier to tenderness

    the Duchess in Alice in Wonderland always comes to mind - speak roughly to your little boy and beat him when he sneezes, he only does it to annoy because he knows it teases.

    But to return to Alina's comment that neither children should be seen ... nor 'black pedagogy' are Soviet/Russian constructs that is precisely the point I intended making.  I imagine that deriving children of tenderness was a more global phenomenon particular to a time rather than a place.  It was certainly the case here in Ireland where many children in any form of state/church care up to the late 1980's were subjected to systematic psychological, physical and sexual abuse.  It has been proven that the abuse was sanctioned and approved of by both church and state and tacitly by society as a whole.

    However, it concerns me , that whenever social issues surrounding Russia and the former Soviet states come up, it is always negative.  >From personal experience of working in Russian schools and choosing to send my daughter to Russian detskii sad and then onto school, I can say that she and the rest of her class were treated with great warmth and cre.

    AM

    > Date: Sat, 1 Dec 2012 09:56:27 +0000
    > From: John.Dunn at GLASGOW.AC.UK
    > Subject: Re: [SEELANGS] barrier to tenderness
    > To: SEELANGS at LISTSERV.UA.EDU
    > 
    > It is all in Chapter 17 of Domostroi: Како дѣти оучити и страхомъ сп[а]сати
    > This lists in detail the dire fates that lie in wait for you and your household if you fail to show sufficient determination (or, as we would now say, brutality) in disciplining your children.
    > 
    > John Dunn. 
    > ________________________________________
    > From: SEELANGS: Slavic & East European Languages and Literatures list [SEELANGS at LISTSERV.UA.EDU] On Behalf Of Alina Israeli [aisrael at AMERICAN.EDU]
    > Sent: 30 November 2012 21:24
    > To: SEELANGS at LISTSERV.UA.EDU
    > Subject: Re: [SEELANGS] barrier to tenderness
    > 
    > The fact that "children should be seen and not heard" is a strictly British concept, not German. I wonder if bottling in the emotions would give rise to a желчный цвет лица, hence желтая англичанка.
    > 
    > Vygotsky was just a "historic" name for much of the 20th century in Russia. You have to remember that education and particularly psychology were governed by the only truly scientific approach, namely marxist-leninist approach. (I took such a course in psychology, so I know it first hand.)
    > 
    > You may also find it curious that the psychology dept in Moscow has been in existence only since 1966: http://www.psy.msu.ru/about/info.html
    > So has the one in Leningrad / St. Petersburg: http://www.psy.spbu.ru/history
    > 
    > There was no psychology between the early 30's and mid-60's.
    > 
    > Freud's name was uttered publicly for the first time at an international congress in Tbilisi in 1979: http://rjews.net/v_rotenberg/1m.html#.ULkSunHoVCY. Russia was in a hurry covering the distance the West covered in the previous 80 or 90 years.
    > 
    > Vygotsky's work started being published (again or anew) only in the 80's: http://www.gumer.info/bibliotek_Buks/Psihol/vug_all/index.php
    > 
    > And everyone knows that it takes a long time from the moment of publication to make it to the national consciousness.
    > 
    > 
    > On Nov 30, 2012, at 11:56 AM, anne marie devlin wrote:
    > 
    > While 'black pedagogy' may have been a feature of Russian education - in the broadest sense, it's also worth remembering that Vygotsky was also Russian. His holistic approach and the theory of zone of proximal development are perhaps the most influential early childhood theories certainly in Europe.
    > The idea that children should be strictly disciplined and seen and not heard are not confined to Russia and with the rise of Gina Ford, seem to be making a come back.
    > 
    > AM
    > 
    > 
    > Alina Israeli
    > Associate Professor of Russian
    > WLC, American University
    > 4400 Massachusetts Ave.
    > Washington DC 20016
    > (202) 885-2387 fax (202) 885-1076
    > aisrael at american.edu<mailto:aisrael at american.edu>
    > 
    > 
    > 
    > 
    > 
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