"Birthday Party" Page 1

[Adam Frost]

Written very well. I enjoyed the story. First page does not have spelling
errors that I caught on first read, but there is a grammar error. ;-) You
have a rhetorical wh-word question. The eyebrows should be up, not down.

Adam

On 10/30/07, kjoanne403 at hotmail.com <kjoanne403 at hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> Hi everyone,
>
> I got excited about the book again when I was posting earlier, so I got
> busy this evening and rewrote what I wanted to rewrite. There are seven
> pages in all (though I don't think #6 really needs proofreading . . . it's
> only one sign, but I'm going to send it anyway so I don't break up the flow
> of the story.) As I said earlier, feedback/comments/criticism is welcome!
>
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