LL-L "Levity" 2005.08.05 (03) [D/E]

[Lowlands-L]

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L O W L A N D S - L * 06.AUG.2005 (03) * ISSN 189-5582 * LCSN 96-4226
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From: Theo Homan <theohoman at yahoo.com>
Subject: LL-L "Levity" 2005.08.05 (04) [E]

> From: Ingmar Roerdinkholder
> <ingmar.roerdinkholder at WORLDONLINE.NL>
> Subject: LL-L "Language varieties" 2005.08.04 (01)
> [E]
>
> A new kind of Missingsch? Ingmar
>
> >Make sure you read this before your evening quota
> of wine..........
>
> >Euro English
>
> >The European Commission has just announced an
> agreement whereby
> >English
> >will be the official language of the European Union
> rather than
> >German,
> >which was the other possibility.
>
> >As part of the negotiations, the British Government
> conceded that
> >English spelling had some room for improvement and
> has accepted a 5- year
> >phase-in plan that would become known as
> "Euro-English".
>
> >In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
> Sertainly, this
> >will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
>
> >The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This
> should klear up
> >konfusion, and keyboards *kan* have one less
> letter.
>
> >There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
> sekond year when the
> >troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This
> will make words
> >like fotograf 20% shorter.
>
> >In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
> spelling *kan* be
> >expekted to
> >reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible.
>
> >Governments will enkourage the removal of double
> letters which have
> >always
> >ben a deterent to akurate speling.
>
> >Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
> "e" in the
> >languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
>
> >By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
> as replasing
> >"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
>
> >During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
> from vords
> >kontaining
> >"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
> sensibl riten styl.
>
> >Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
> vil find it ezi tu
> >understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
> finali kum tru.
>
> >Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
> like zey vunted
> >in ze
> >forst plas.
>
> >If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
>
> ----------
>
> From: R. F. Hahn
> Subject: Levity
>
> Thanks, Ingmar, but this is as old as the hills, has
> been circulating for
> years and has been posted here at least twice.  It
> may be classified as
> anti-Europeanization satire with a distinct
> anti-German undercurrant.
>
> Regards,
> Reinhard/Ron

***
Komkommertijd!

vr.gr.
Theo Homan

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