"Kicking footballs"

[Scot LaFaive]

I've always considered the phrase "up your ass kicking footballs" (as in if you ask someone where the phone is, they might say "If it was up your ass kicking footballs you'd know it/know where it is") to be fairly common. But imagine my horror when I look in The Google and only find two hits (one with "kicking" and one with "kickin"). Am I wrong? Is this not a common phrase? I've heard it quite a few times here in Wisconsin (mainly central WI), but now I'm wondering if I haven't heard it from the same three people all my life. My world really isn't that small, is it?
 
Scot L.
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