Advice: Just close your eyes and think of England (the Empire)

[Laurence Horn]

On Oct 1, 2014, at 3:48 PM, ADSGarson O'Toole wrote:

> Here are a set of matches. Many of the dates are from GB and are
> unverified. The examples in the QI article are verified with paper,
> scans, or archive text (though two are from quotation references,
> i.e., indirect, at this time).
> 
> A three part version similar to LH's suggestion appeared in 1977, apparently.
> 
> 1943 just close your eyes and think of England
> 1955 just close your eyes and think of England
> 1963 I lie still and think of a new way to trim a hat
> 1968 I shut my eyes tight and thought of the Empire
> 1971 remain still and think of England
> 1971 Lie still and think of England
> 1972 I lie down on my bed, close my eyes, open my legs and think of England
> 1974 Lie still and think of the Empire
> 1977 Lie still and close your eyes, dear, and think of England
> 1978 lie still and think of your gods
> 1979 Lie back and think of the Empire
> 1986 Lie back, close your eyes, think of England...
> 1999 Lie back and think of Belgium

Well, Belgium *is* one of the low countries.  But still, wouldn't thinking of Belgium evoke unpleasant associations of being overrun  by enemy invaders?   
Perhaps I'm overthinking it, and it's just a bit of variation to prevent marital boredom. 

LH 
> 
> The 1943 cite is about kissing. All the other cites appear to be about coitus.
> 
> The 1972 cite includes the unsupported assertion that the quotation is
> from a private journal in 1912.
> 
> Garson
> 
> On Wed, Oct 1, 2014 at 1:19 PM, Laurence Horn <laurence.horn at yale.edu> wrote:
>> ---------------------- Information from the mail header -----------------------
>> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
>> Poster:       Laurence Horn <laurence.horn at YALE.EDU>
>> Subject:      Re: Advice: Just close your eyes and think of England (the
>>              Empire)
>> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>> 
>> I recall a three-part recipe, obviously not designed for how to get =
>> through the disgusting of kissing but more for what "baiser" now =
>> designates in French:
>> 
>> "Lie back, close your eyes, and think of England"
>> 
>> Do any of your cites include the first step?
>> 
>> LH
>> 
>> On Oct 1, 2014, at 12:15 PM, ADSGarson O'Toole wrote:
>> 
>>> Fred and Charlie have an entry for "Close (Shut) your eyes and think
>>> of England (the Empire, the queen, Old Glory, etc.)" in DMP and YBQ.
>>> These two references list a key 1943 citation that involved kissing.
>>> I've located an interesting 1954/1955 cite that involved more than
>>> kissing. This was the earliest cite I found displaying the modern
>>> sense.
>>> =20
>>> The general background is here:
>>> http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/09/30/empire/
>>> =20
>>> [Begin modified excerpt from Quote Investigator]
>>> The earliest relevant evidence known to QI was published by an
>>> influential American newspaper columnist in 1943. Intriguingly, the
>>> topic was osculation and not conjugation, and the advice-giver was
>>> Lucy Baldwin who was the wife of the former Prime Minister of the
>>> United Kingdom:
>>> =20
>>> [Begin 1943 excerpt]
>>> Stanley Baldwin=92s son tells this story of the day his sister went =
>> out
>>> with a young man who wanted to marry her. She asked her mother for
>>> advice, in case the young man should want to kiss her . . . "Do what I
>>> did," said her mother, reminiscing of the beginning of her romance
>>> with the man who was to become Prime Minister, =93Just close your eyes
>>> and think of England."
>>> [End 1943 excerpt]
>>> =20
>>> It is conceivable that this was a bowdlerized version of a more ribald
>>> tale, but QI has not yet located supporting evidence for that
>>> hypothesis. An alternative conjecture would hold that the carnal
>>> element of this story was modified and amplified over time.
>>> =20
>>> In 1954 "Les Carnets du Major Thompson" was published in French by
>>> Pierre Daninos. The following year an English translation titled =93The
>>> Notebooks of Major Thompson: An Englishman Discovers France & the
>>> French=94 was released in the U.S. The character portrayals in the
>>> volume emphasized humor. The French author Daninos asserted that the
>>> English character Ursula had been prepared =93for marriage in an
>>> entirely Victorian spirit=94. The expression in the following passage
>>> was identical to the one used in the previous citation. Yet, the
>>> activity shifted from kissing to intimate coupling:
>>> =20
>>> [Begin 1955 excerpt]
>>> The day before she left home, Lady Plunkwell had delivered her final
>>> advice: "I know, my dear, it=92s disgusting. But do as I did with
>>> Edward: just close your eyes and think of England!" Like her mother
>>> and her mother=92s mother before her, Ursula closed her eyes. She
>>> thought of the future of England.
>>> [End 1955 excerpt]
>>> =20
>>> [End modified excerpt from Quote Investigator]
>>> =20
>>> Cite info: 1943 May 18, Washington Post, Broadway Gazette by Leonard
>>> Lyons, Quote Page 10, Column 5, Washington, D.C. (ProQuest)
>>> =20
>>> Cite info: 1955, The Notebooks of Major Thompson: An Englishman
>>> Discovers France & the French by Pierre Daninos, Translated by Robin
>>> Farn, Chapter 8: Martine and Ursula, Quote Page 105, Alfred A. Knopf,
>>> New York. (Originally published in France as Les Carnets du Major
>>> Thompson by Librairie Hachette in 1954) (Verified on paper)
>>> =20
>>> Garson
>>> =20
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>> 
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> 
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