Nauh niu liuþ (3)

[llama_nom]

> Þan, hvan wairsist ist

Þanuh, biþe wairsist ist
Þaruh, þan(ei) wairsist ist
Jah þan, (swa)swe wairsist ist

(Or any other combination of either 'þanuh', 'þaruh' or 'jah þan' +
either 'biþe', 'þan(ei)' or '(swa)swe'. 'þan' at the very beginning of
a clause always means "when". As I mentioned in my previous post,
'hvan' would only be used in a direct or indirect question (e.g.
direct: "when will they come?"; indirect: "I don't know when they will
come").

> jah ni waihts hilpiþ

That's good. Equally acceptable alternatives: jah waihts ni hilpiþ;
jah ni hilpiþ waihts.

> Bristand swe in wunjai brusteis bagmis.

The grammar looks fine to me, and you've got some good alliteration
there. Alternatively, you could used the attested verb '(us)keinan':
uskeinand swe in wunjai / in hlasein / miþ fahedai brusteis/bristilons
bagmis.

> Þan, hvan ni faurhtei ju þanaseiþs haldiþ,

þanuh, biþe waihts faurhteino/agise (ju) þanaseiþs/þanamais ni haldiþ

You've got a choice of word orders here. There is a tendency to place
'ni' directly before the verb, but it's also not unusual to put it
before words like 'waiht(s)' or 'þanaseiþs/þanamais', either as well
as or instead of before the verb. Optionally, 'ni' can be placed at
the beginning of the clause with the verb directly after it.

> driusand in glitmunjai drupans tainis

Good. (Or: driusand glitmunjandans drupans tainis.)

> ufarmaudjand þatei

Good, or: ufarmunnond þammei

> þlahsnanai wesun

Either 'þlahsidai wesun' or 'þlahsnodedun'.

> fram þamma niujin

Good.

> ufarmaudjand þatei karanai wesun bi fara -

ufarmaudjand þatei ins *faros/wratodaus kara was
ufarmunnond þammei [...]

> ufkunnun

ufkunnand, weak class 3 [
http://www.wulfila.be/lib/streitberg/1910/HTML/B076.html ].

> aina stika

The attested phrase is 'in stika melis' "in a moment of time",
litterally a "point of time", L 4:5 (I'm not sure whether this means
"immediately, without delay" or "just for a moment, after which the
vision disappeared) [
http://www.wulfila.be/gothic/browse/text/?book=3&chapter=4 ]. But here
you could maybe use the accusative expressing duration of time 'stik
melis' "for a moment". 'stiks' is presumed to be a masculine i-stem,
because of cognates, although it's only attested in Gothic this once
in the dative singular.

> þo þwastiþa mikiliston seinon,

The possessive adjectives are only declined strong, and the
superlative of 'mikils' is 'maists': þo maiston þwastiþa seina;
þwastiþa seina þo maiston.

> hveiland in þizai triggwein
> þizaiei fairhvu gaskapjiþ.

I'd make this an accusative + infinitive construction: hveilan in
stomin þatei fairhvu gaskapjiþ "resting in the confidence that creates
the world"; hveilan in trauainai sei fairhvu gaskapjiþ "resting in the
trust that creates the world".

LN




--- In gothic-l at yahoogroups.com, "Fredrik" <gadrauhts at ...> wrote:
>
> The poet strikes again!
> 
> Just kidding. But I've tried to translate a poem.
> I just need your ideas about my word choices and ways to express.
> 
> The original from which I translated is in swedish so now I will try
> to translate the same one to english for you to understand.
> The english translation is probably much mor correct and the gothic
> is more freely translated.
> 
> Gothic first:
> 
> Jai þannu agliþ
> 
> 
> Jai þannu agliþ hvan bruteis bristand.
> Duhvê sáinjái wêzr?
> Duhvê bindada alla gaírnei unsara sô heitô
> in þamma frusanin báitrafalwin?
> Hulþs was bruts sa alla wintrus.
> Hva ist þata niujô, þatei taíriþ jah spraggeiþ?
> Jai þannu agliþ hvan bruteis bristand,
> agliþ þamma wahsjandin
> jah þamma lukandin.
> 
> Jai þannu aglus ist hvan drupans driusand.
> Reirands fram karai kauruba eis hahand,
> haftjand sik ana taina, swilland, gleidand -
> Dalaþ ins þinsai kaurus, hvaiwa kliggand.
> Aglus wisan unwiss, faurhts jah skaidans,
> Aglus ufkunnan diupein þo þinsandein jah haitandein,
> nauh bileiban sitands jah þatain skudon -
> aglus bileiban wiljan
> jah driusan wiljan.
> 
> Þan, hvan wairsist ist jah ni waihts hilpiþ,
> Bristand swe in wunjai brusteis bagmis.
> Þan, hvan ni faurhtei ju þanaseiþs haldiþ,
> driusand in glitmunjai drupans tainis
> ufarmaudjand þatei þlahsnanai wesun fram þamma niujin
> ufarmaudjand þatei karanai wesun bi fara -
> ufkunnun aina stika þo þwastiþa mikiliston seinon,
> hveiland in þizai triggwein
> þizaiei fairhvu gaskapjiþ.
> 
> 
> And now, here's my affort to english translation:
> 
> Yes it does hurt when sprouts/buds burst.
> Why else would the spring hesitate?
> Why would all our hot longing
> be tied in the frozen bitterpale?
> Hidden was the sprout the entire winter.
> What's the new, tearing and blasting?
> Yes it does hurt when sprouts burst,
> hurting for the growing
> and the closing
> 
> Yes it's hard when dropps are falling.
> Quaking by anxiety they're haning heavily,
> clinging by the twig, swelling, gliding
> the weight pulling them down, how they cling.
> Hard to be uncertain, afraid and devided,
> hard to feel the pulling and calling from the depth,
> still remain sitting and just shiver
> hard to wanting to stay
> and wanting to fall
> 
> Then, when it's worst and nothing helps,
> bursting, like jubilation, the sprouts of the tree.
> Then, when no fear no longer will hold
> fall in a glitter the drops of the twig
> forget that they were scared by the new
> forget that they were anxious about the journey
> feel for a second their greatest safety,
> resting in the confidence
> that creates the world
> 
> Site of poeam
> http://www.geocities.com/gutiska/glydian/poema.html
> 
> Swedish:
> http://www.karinboye.se/verk/dikter/dikter/ja-visst-gor-det-ont.shtml
>


-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://listserv.linguistlist.org/pipermail/gothic-l/attachments/20080420/38050514/attachment.htm>